


Blüdhaven

by vici_diem



Category: Batman (Comics), Bruce Wayne - Fandom, DC Comics, DC Universe, Damian Wayne - Fandom, Jason Todd - Fandom, Joker - Fandom, Nightwing (Comics), Reader - Fandom, Robin - Fandom, cheyenne freemont - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9639230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vici_diem/pseuds/vici_diem
Summary: Your name is Mackenzie Lee, you are 27 years old and had just graduated 2 years ago from law school. You just moved in with your boyfriend, Dick Grayson, after getting a job in one of the top law firms in Gotham city. Everything was perfect until your former best friend from college, Cheyenne Freemont was mysteriously found dead in an alleyway of Iceberg Lounge. One of the prime suspects is Nightwing but there are not enough evidence yet to charge one of Gotham city's heroes of murder.  Yet you didn't know, despite getting your first huge criminal case, that Dick Grayson, your boyfriend, is actually Nightwing.





	1. Prologue

Dick’s POV:

I was on autopilot as soon as I received the call, heading to the place where I last traced her phone signal from. Why did she come back to Gotham? I don’t know. All I know, is that I have to see her, I have to know that she’s safe. 

‘Please, help me.’ she begged through the phone, her voice filled with the fear I’ve never heard she uttered before. For as long as I knew her, she had never been like this. She was always so full of life. 

Rain started to pour down in Blüdhaven and though the steps can be slippery, I didn’t care, not breaking my pace. I have to get there before it’s too late. And why the hell did she decided to be in Iceberg Lounge, out of all places? Hell, why did she decided to be alone in Gotham, at night? I know she could handle herself, but she didn’t have to come here. 

Guilt hits my chest as the thought crossed my mind. I was her friend, I should be glad that she’s here, but that’s the truth, I’m not. I made another giant leap across the roof of the building and climbed down the building, surveying the area once I feet landed on the ground, with my night vision still activated. 

The alley of the Iceberg Lounge is as disgusting as the owner itself. Two dumpsters stood facing each other, with one top open and the other shut. A foot was dangling off of the edge of the one with the open top. A whimper broke against the silence of the alleyway. No, no way. I ran towards the sound, lifting the familiar body from the filth and gently laying it down on a cleaner ground, a few feet away from the dumpster. 

I cradle her head in my arms, she had never looked this fragile. Her dress is ruined and tattered, or what was left of it anyway. Her beautiful red hair was cut short. Bruises were all over her skin, but the most prominent one was on her face, a broken jaw, broken nose and a swollen eye. Blood flows down her temple as she shivered, her hands shaking as she let out a sob. 

“Y-you’re h-here.” she whispered, bringing one bloodied hand up to my face. 

“I’m here. Cheyenne, who did this to you?” I asked, my gaze drifting to where her hand had been. Blood flowed from between her legs, the red staining her white dress. I turn back to her, cupping one hand on her cheek, my thumb wiping away her tears. 

“Y-you ha-have to p-promise me not to s-seek vengeance.”

“Cheyenne-“

“N-no, Nightwing, n-no. H-help me e-end this instead.” 

I hesitated, unsure of what to do. Judging by her injuries, I could call for reinforcements, get Bruce to help, maybe Alfred could stitch her up, we could bring her to the hospital. I was about to do just that and she must’ve known, because she begged me to end it instead. 

“P-pl-please, Nightwing, please.” she begged, her sobs racking her body. 

I scrunched my face, trying to block the pain in my chest, the tears that are threatening to flow. I nodded, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as she whispered, “T-thank you.” and place my hand on her throat. My hands trembled as I laid her head on my thighs and wrap my hands around her frail neck. Her eyes were on the sky, reflecting stars from her dark brown eyes that is slowly losing life as I tighten my grip on her neck.


	2. Chapter 2

As I close the door behind me, darkness greets me, accompanied by the faint sound from the TV. The only light in the apartment are the lights from the neighbouring buildings of the city, shining from the floor-to-ceiling windows of our newly-bought home. 

I shrug off my black coat, draping it over the sleek white kitchen counter before making my way to the fridge to heat up last night’s pizza. I let out a sigh at the sight of all our belongings still wrapped up in boxes all over the floor. So far, we had only managed to unpack our necessities and it had been a week since we’ve moved in. 

Dick had to stop by Wayne Manor a few times to visit his adopted father, Bruce, and at the same time ‘babysitting’ none-other than Damian Wayne. At least that’s what he told me. I have had the pleasure of meeting Bruce and Damian a few times and they seemed nice. Dick seemed to have a close relationship with his adoptive father, as he paid a lot of visits to them, despite the distance from our place to theirs. Sometimes even to the point that he had to stay there for a few days for some reason. Dick always came up with different excuses and had Alfred vouch fro him one time when I thought he was seeing someone else. It didn’t make sense, but I let it go. 

That was why it took us so long to decide to move in together. Seven years to be exact. We had been dating since the Junior Year of college in Hudson University, all the way in New York. Then we broke up a few months after I got into law school, while he moved back to Gotham. I barely breathed with all the work piled up from school, I didn’t even know he was dating someone else for awhile. It wasn’t until a few months before my graduation, that I received a job offer in one of the top law firms in Gotham. I took it without any hesitation. Opportunities like these don’t come everyday. And once I landed in Gotham, he was there, holding a sign. My feelings came back like an avalanche but we decided to take it slow, only making it official two years ago. 

“You’re back.” a familiar voice whispered against my ear, jolting me out of my thoughts. I jumped when I felt his breath against my neck, giving me goosebumps. 

“Christ, you scared me!” I said, opening the microwave and carefully lifting the pizza to the counter. 

He slid his hands around my waist and drop his chin on my shoulder. “So how’s your day? Did you get the case?” he asked, his breath tickling my neck, sending lingering sensations downwards. 

I turn around, his grip loosening before tightening again when we are face to face. He’s so tall, I only reached up to his nose even though my height was considered to be average. I beamed at him, saying, “I got it.” 

He gave me a long kiss, one hand around my waist as the other cups my cheek. I put my hands around his neck, bringing him closer to me as our kiss turns hungrier. He lets go all of a sudden, with his hands still on me as he flashed me his reassuring smile. 

“We should celebrate.” he announced. 

“I thought we were celebrating?” I grinned as he laughed, the sound sending warmth down my belly. 

“I love you.” he whispered against my lips, before continuing where we left off, lifting me up as I put my legs around his waist, my hands around his neck as our lips intertwined all the way to the bedroom, my pizza forgotten.


	3. Promise

“See you, Hank.” I waved as I walked past the security in the building. 

“You too, Ms.Lee.” he replied. 

I walked out of the office and towards the parking lot. I brought out my car keys and press the button, which was followed by a signal from my car. There are only a few cars left in the parking lot, since it’s way over 5pm. Hell, it must be around 10 or 11 by now. I checked my watch, where it showed 11.30 pm. Great, half hour before midnight. My heartbeat increases at the thought of a drive this late through Gotham City. 

I could call Dick to come and pick me up, but who knows where he is? He might’ve been asleep, or worse, with Bruce. Taking a deep breath, I suck it up, pushed the fear to the back of my mind and got in my car. You’re no pussy, Mackenzie.

I turn on the radio, eager for some distraction as I drove my car out of the parking lot. ‘Billie Jean’ by Michael Jackson played on the radio. My mind drifted to this morning, where I woke alone again with a note on his side of the bed, apologising for his absence and that he was going to Bruce’s to handle some business from Wayne Industries. Then the breakfast that greeted me in the kitchen, with another note explaining how he felt bad and didn’t want me to starve at work. I had smiled at the thought of him being domestic in the kitchen, sending flutters of warmth down my belly. 

As I drove through the bridge, a loud bang hit the back of my car. I didn’t pull into a stop, knowing whatever it is, it must’ve been dangerous. Adrenaline took over me as I sped up my car. My grip tighten on the steering wheel and I try not think of the knot in my chest. I focused, instead, on the music on the radio, as if they are the war drums urging me on. 

Suddenly, as I was about to reach the end of the bridge, a huge rock fell in front of me and I slammed the breaks immediately. Relief flooded all over me as the car hauled into a stop inches away from it. A loud bang fell from the sky, the gravel crunching against its feet. I stare at it, my eyes widen at the sight of a man in a black and blue suit, facing me. His black hair falls over his masked eyes. And his blue eyes, they look so familiar. 

I got out of the car without a second thought, my eyes still glued to him. He looked like he was about to say something until something behind caught his attention. I watched him as he chased whatever that dropped the huge pile of rock in the middle of the street, following a man dressed in black. I squinted my eyes to find that it’s Batman. As if they heard my thoughts, they grappled over a statue and chased after the criminal. 

The drive back was a blur. I managed to reverse my car and drove back, my mind still reeling from all the experience. It was until I arrived back home, parking my car in the parking lot right next to Dick’s, that I checked the back to find that it is half-crushed. Someone must’ve lifted the weight off of my car or it had bounced off ‘cause I managed to drive back without any problem. Nightwing came into my mind, but I pushed it back. I live in Gotham and these things are supposed to be a normal occurrence for me, especially when they are always in the news. But no, there is something about them that seemed so familiar. 

The night view of Gotham City greeted me as I walked in. The lights were already off and Dick must be asleep. I walked off to the office next to our bedroom and placed my briefcase there. Then I made my way to our bedroom, not intending to sleep, but more to checking on my boyfriend. I had expected for him to be asleep, but he was pacing, shirtless, his beautiful hand covering his lips, his head creased with worry. 

And as if he sensed my presence, he turned to me, still standing at the door in my work clothes. My hair was a mess and I didn’t even realise it. Some time during the accident, my ponytail must’ve come off, because I can feel him brushing a strand away from my face. I stared into his familiar deep blue eyes. My thoughts turned to Nightwing’s eyes but I pushed it back again. There was no way, Dick Grayson, my boyfriend, is Nightwing. If he was, he wouldn’t be here with me. He’d be with Batman chasing some villain across the city. 

“Where were you?” he asked. “I was beside myself with worry, I tried calling you but you didn’t pick up.”

“I’m sorry, I got carried away with my work. My phone’s dead.” I explained. 

“Did anything happen to you? Your hair…” he started, his eyes scanning all over my body but instead of saying something, I shook my head and claimed exhaustion as an excuse. I stalked off to the bathroom, his eyes still on my back. 

As I stood in the shower, the warm water cascading all over my body, washing all the stress away, my thoughts went back to the case, to Nightwing. He couldn’t have done it, could he? He wouldn’t murder Cheyenne Freemont. Batman did not kill, Nightwing does not kill either. But if it wasn’t him, then who did? The CCTV footage looked so convincing and it didn’t help that he was there when she died. I closed my eyes when a tear escaped me and I let out a sob. How am I supposed to do this? 

Warm lips touched my shoulder. I jumped and nearly tripped but his strong hands gripped my waist before I fall and break my neck. I turned towards him and placed my head on his chest and let out a deep breath. Safe, I’m finally safe. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m so tired, Dick, you have no idea.” I replied, as he cupped both my cheeks, bringing my face to look at him. Those deep blue eyes. I hold his wrists, his pulse beating under my skin. Tears blurred my vision but he wiped it away with his thumbs. 

“Don’t get mad,” he started and I stilled, yet he continued, “but why not drop out of the case? We can go on a vacation, somewhere nice, just us for awhile.”

“I can’t, I’ve worked so hard for this.” 

“Then promise me one thing,” his eyes grew serious, to which I nodded, lost of words. “once this is all over, we go away. No matter what happens, both of us, together.”

A tear escaped me, my heart lurched to my throat as I say, “Okay.”


	4. Midnight Blue

For once in a long time, he’s still in bed in the morning. His arm still circling around my waist, his legs are still entwined with mine as he breathed in the scent of my hair. I put my hands over his, caressing my thumb on his skin. I love how goosebumps would rise on his skin when I did this, I love the sound of his breathing, the constant thumping of his heart against my spine, the feel of his hands around me, of his legs with mine. 

I thank god I didn’t have to go to work today, since it’s Saturday. Hopefully he didn’t have any plans with Bruce today as well, because I’d like to have him all to myself, for the whole day, for once. The thought of spending the day together warms my heart. When was the last time we spent a peaceful day together, without rushing off at the last minute due to emergencies?

I still didn’t know where he went with Bruce, but he had always told me he had ‘family business’ to attend to. When I asked him what was the ‘business’, or if I can do anything to help, in the law aspect, but he always claimed that he didn’t want me to be involved. I remember jokingly asking him if it was something illegal. He didn’t respond to that and the subject was never brought up. 

But that’s the thing about relationships, it is built on trust. If he trusted me with all the work I am doing, the clients I tried to ‘protect’, I would trust him too. We’ve been together for more than 5 years now, perhaps both of our longest relationship yet and to jeopardise it with a little insecurity is just not worth it. 

Yawning, I carefully detached myself from his hold. Good things must come to an end, after all. I got out of bed, picked up his Hudson University T-shirt from the floor and put it over my head. His scent overwhelmed me all of a sudden and I happily inhaled it like a drug addict. My eyes turned to him, still peacefully asleep. I smiled at the sight and placed a light kiss on his head, before walking to the kitchen to make some breakfast. 

As the coffee machine grinds our coffee, I grabbed my phone and turned on some music, putting it on Shuffle mode. ‘Memories’ by We Came As Romans played, filling the sweet morning and keeping me company while my boyfriend slept. 

I cracked some eggs, preparing it for both of us. I checked the time on my phone, where it displayed ’10.30 am’ on the front screen. Huh. It wasn’t unlike him to sleep in. He must be exhausted. It was when I flipped the eggs, that I noticed the amount of notifications I received. All from the different people on my contact list. From my family, to my friends, to my colleagues, even to the people I have forgotten that they have my number. I raised my eyebrow, scrolling through them. They were asking me if I was okay, that they heard from the news and everything. 

Putting the eggs on a plate and turning the heat down, I walked towards the living room, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, flipping to the news channel. It was then that the remote nearly slipped from my hands. An actual footage of me nearly being obstructed by a giant rock was playing, clearly a footage from a helicopter. I hadn’t realised there was one, my main focus on the thought of getting home. 

And Nightwing, Nightwing was there. Batman and him ran off to chase the criminal, none-other than Joker. Yet the weird thing is, it was Batman who had made sure Joker was safely locked in Arkham Asylum this time. Nightwing was nowhere to be seen. What the hell?

Footsteps distracted me from the TV and I turn to see who it was. Dick walked out, wearing his hoodie and his pyjama pants, yawning and wincing at the sunlight against the window. “This is too early.” he muttered, stalking off to the kitchen as if he was suffering a hangover. 

I lowered the volume, switched the channel and sat next to him as he stabbed the eggs with a fork. “It’s almost noon.” I said. 

“So…you have any plans today?” I asked, after a few moments of silence. 

“There’s a gala tonight, something about honouring Bruce. Would you like to attend? I’d have to be there.”

“Sure, why not? I must’ve had an abandoned dress somewhere deep inside the closet.” I replied, then the sight of the boxes came into my view, to which I continued, “Or the box.”

He grinned, before telling me, “Bruce sent a dress yesterday.”

“No way! Bruce Wayne went shopping, for a woman’s dress?!” I gaped, nearly dropping the eggs out of my mouth as he laughed.   
“I wish.” he laughed, then explained, “He had someone picked it out. He knew how busy we were with all our moving in and stuff. And he sort of just gave it to me since I forgot to tell you a few days earlier.”

I gave him a look that says ‘really?’, to which he raised both his hands in surrender, his lips still curved upward. “I haven’t peeked, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“It’s not a wedding, Dick. Don’t worry about peeking.” I laughed. 

We spent our day unpacking boxes like a normal couple, reminiscing at the lives we had before we moved in. The T-shirt he wore when we first met, which of course, didn’t fit him anymore. I hadn’t known he had dropped out after a semester of university, since he had attended a college party. I assumed we were all students until he told me he quit university when I asked him about his major. Hell, it was on our second date when he told me he is Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. I nearly choked on my food. 

“You actually did, choke on your food. I remember bits and pieces of paprika dropped onto your lap.” he joked, cutting over the box with a small knife like a trained professional. 

“Yeah, right. We wouldn’t have been dating this long if I did.” I replied, putting my books on the shelf in our office. 

“I would still date you, Mackenzie Lee, regardless of paprika.” he smiled. 

The thought of what happened last night still haunted my mind. I had silenced and managed to reply most of the messages from the people I was close with, and the ones I know who genuinely cares for me. Dick hated the fact that I ended up in the news, but he made no further qualms about it except for complaining how the media tend to exaggerate things. He offered to bring my car to the auto shop on Monday when I showed him in the parking lot. 

‘You can use my car in the meantime and I’ll just use my motorcycle.’ he had said 

‘You know how I feel about you driving your motorcycle halfway through Gotham.’ 

‘Then I’ll take the Uber, or have Alfred come pick me up.’

‘No, it’s too much.’

‘It’s not, really. Bruce has a lot of cars that I can use.’

Ah, the perks of being a billionaire’s adopted son. I just shook my head and continue rearranging my law books in the shelf as he continue setting up my computer in our office. Once we were both done and he was typing away in his computer, I started to work, gathering up the facts relating to the case. 

After re-reading the police reports and the case for the -enth time, I gave up. I looked at the clock on my computer, which showed that I have 3 more hours before we had to be there. I saved all my files and turned it off, massaging my temples as I make my way to our bedroom. 

Nightwing was already charged with murder and was due in court, but it seemed like the Gotham police force was not working hard enough, since they still couldn’t catch the defendant himself, nor did the defendant have any intentions on turning himself in. How are we going to go through the usual criminal court procedures without a defendant present? What if the defendant ended up guilty, who will they send to prison? We still probably have months before the real trial so the police could gather up more evidence. 

When I walked in, Dick had already showered and was sitting on the bed with his legs outstretched, with a laptop resting on his lap and his back against the headboard. I blushed at the memory of what we did against the headboard last night. He must’ve sensed it too, ‘cause he flashed me salacious grin. The horny bastard.

“We have three hours.” he offered.

“I need those three hours, thank you very much.” I replied, laughing and walking to the bathroom to rinse off the sweat and the stress. 

A few hours later, Dick wraps his arms around my waist as I straighten his bow-tie. He looked dapper, as usual. The great Richard Grayson, son of the equally great Bruce Wayne. 

The dress Bruce sent me was as perfect as it could be. A midnight blue tulle dress, with a black silk halter neck, showing off my back. Dick was against the exposed back at first, but after a little convincing, he managed to let it slide. It’s not like I could wander off during the party, I don’t know many people that are attending. 

Dick, like a gentleman that he is, holds my hand and my black clutch as I put my stilettos on and offered me his hand as we make our way to the lift and down towards the parking lot. His black jacket around my shoulders, covering the backside that he is so against exposing. I shake my head but let him drape it around my shoulders like a cape, promising that he will take it back once we arrived. 

We rode his silver Audi R4, speeding through the bridge that connected Blüdhaven to Gotham City and towards the Wayne Industries building. A traffic of expensive cars was in front of us once we were a few blocks away from the venue. From Lamborghinis to Limousines. I tried not to get uncomfortable by the sight, in fact I should get used to this if being with Dick is going to be something permanent. Criminal law is one of the least-paid job in the legal department, with lawyers working more pro-bono jobs than others. But if I get to put criminals to jail while defending the defenceless, I don’t mind doing it for free. 

As if sensing my nerves, Dick wrapped his hand around mine, while keeping the other on the steering wheel, his warmth radiating through my skin. I squeezed his hand back, telling him that I’ll be fine. I will, won’t I? These nerves are just…nerves, I thought, trying to push it back down into the bottomless pit of unwanted emotions. And like most unwanted emotions, it is persistent as it rose back up like a dark cloud circling my head, reminding me that something bad is going to happen. 

“You okay?” Dick asked as we neared the place and I can see a red carpet rolled down in front, with a bunch of photographers snapping pictures of the guests entering the building. Bruce seemed to be sparing little expense on the event. 

“I’m going to be.” I replied, my eyes on the glitz and glam that Gotham city had to offer. 

He pulled the car to a stop, tossed the keys at the valet, rounded the car and opened my door. I stepped out and took his hand, as he helped me making sure that my dress got out of the car alright. I straightened his tie, patting his chest and took his arm and we make our way towards the entrance. 

We stopped in the middle of the red carpet, that has an ‘X’ marked on it. We stood in between the mark, plastering a smile for the pictures with his arm on my bare back. He leaned in close, sensing the agitation and the goosebumps on my skin, whispering, “You look really beautiful in that dress.”

And just like that, nothing matters in that moment. Nothing but us, the bond we have. The love we share. I think my heart just grew bigger, because that’s how it felt like. It had been more than five years since we’ve known each other, yet he still had that affect on me. I hope one of the photographers captured this moment, with me blushing and smiling up to him like he was the only one there as he looked down to my eyes with nothing but love and joy. I don’t think I can love anyone more.


	5. All These Years

Chapter 4:

Classical music fills the room, orchestrated by the orchestra, with the accompaniment of people softly chattering in the background and the footsteps on the dance floor as they waltzed around. Everyone is talking to everyone, it seemed. 

The whole foyer of the building seemed so dreamy, like the dawn. It’s beautiful. In the middle is a stage, where the members of the orchestra are lost in the music they play, with a white podium in the middle. The logo of ‘Wayne Industries’ is emblazoned across the stage as if to remind everyone where they are. On the side, is my favourite place in every parties like these, the bar. The bar looked like it was something out of a Victorian pub, with not one, but at least five bartenders. 

“I’m heading to the bar. D’you want anything to drink?” I asked, staring up at Dick, who’s eyes seemed to be looking for someone. Bruce? Jason?

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll meet you there, I have to go look for someone.” he replied, distracted. I nodded and make my way towards the bar, excusing myself and trying not to bump into someone. 

“Red wine, please.” I ordered, raising up my index finger at the bartender. He nodded in reply and in a few seconds, I took a sip on my glass of wine, leaning against the bar as I do so. I hadn’t always been a regular drinker, preferring for a glass of red wine now and then.

Holding my glass of wine, I turned my body to face the party, my back against the edge of the bar. A couple is standing beside me, the man’s back facing me, both of them holding drinks and they sound so familiar, as if I’ve heard them from somewhere. The other side stood an old man, nursing his glass of scotch. He looked tired and nervous, with grey hair. He looked so familiar, I swear I saw him from somewhere. 

I must’ve stared at him too long, because he turned to me, nodded as if he knew me, then turned back to his drink. I raised my eyebrow at my confusion, then turned back to the sight of people waltzing around the dance floor like something out of a Victorian ball. Hell, the whole design of the building makes me feel as if I was back in the 19th century. 

“Hey.” a voice approached, accompanied by a tap on my shoulder. I twisted my head in response to find the same old man standing right next to me, his drink still on his hand. He looked older up close, as if all the years had caught up to him. “Do I know you?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“No, but I must confess, you seemed familiar. I’m sorry if I was staring at you too intently, I hadn’t realised.”

“No worries. You must’ve seen me from TV. I’m Jim, Jim Gordon.” he explained, extending his free hand and I took it. 

“Oh, the Police Commissioner, of course.” I replied, the puzzles connecting to each other, before saying, “I’m Mackenzie. Nice to meet you, Mr.Gordon.”

“Mackenzie. You must be Dick’s…”

“Girlfriend, yeah.” I replied, as the awkwardness between us grew more visible. Here I was, making small talk with the father of Dick’s ex-girlfriend. Though they must’ve ended in friendly terms, since he knew that Dick and I are dating. Then again, almost everyone knew of our relationship, despite both of us trying to keep it low. 

“Well, I should go, I have to go look for someone. Nice meeting you, Mackenzie.” he said, walking away and leaving his drink on the bar as I was left alone, again. I sighed. I knew I always hated these parties. They tend to feel lonely when there’s no one else to talk to. 

Fishing out my phone from my clutch, I checked for notifications. Or anything, to distract me. None. Just my luck. Why does no one ever text me or at least attempt at contacting me at the right time? I guess these things only happen in movies. ‘Oh dear! A call, I must take, good riddance you disgusting human being!’ the character would always say, raising their ringing phones as if it was Simba from the Lion King. I can’t help but snicker at the image in my head. 

“What are you snickering about?” a familiar voice approached and I turned to the direction. 

Tim Drake stared right back at me, looking as dapper as his brother in his black suit. The only difference, is that Dick is taller. Yet they both have the athletic built. Something tells me Bruce Wayne is gifted in adopting really athletic-looking boys. Though I’ve heard little to no rumours of a crush or girlfriends from Tim, he sure would’ve left a trail of broken hearts. 

“Oh, nothing.” I shrugged casually. 

He gathered me in his arms and I try as hard as I can, returning the favour with one hand while the other still has a grip on my half-empty wine glass. He took it from me, place it at the bar, then took my hand, linking it on his muscular arm. 

“So how are you, sis?” he asked as we make our way towards the front, the direction of the stage. 

“Good, you?” I replied, anxiety grew within me as we approach the front, where Dick is standing next to Bruce, both looking as worried as they can be. The air around them tense. What is Tim doing bringing me here? To smooth things down? What the hell is going on?

“Tim, why are you-“ I started but was immediately cut off by Dick striding towards me and gathering me up in his arms, whispering, “We need to talk.” My heart froze and I could only nod at his words, before he lets me go and pull my hand, walking towards the elevators behind the stage. I don’t know where we are going, nor what is he planning to tell me, but from the tone of his, I can tell it’s not something good. 

Tim and Bruce sent me apologetic looks as we passed by them. Dick was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice, though his grip on my hand is still tight. He punched a code into the keypad of the elevator that takes us to what I presumed to be Bruce’s office. We stayed silent the whole ride, with Dick looking anxious and deep in thought while I just try to distract myself from the little details of the elevators. Is this it? Are we going to end it right here? All these years, coming up to this one moment. Life is so funny sometimes. One minute you’re with someone, the next, poof! You’re alone again. 

The elevator dinged as if to tell us that the time is up for the silence. Yet instead of giving me a brief of what we are going to talk about, Dick pulled me out of the elevator and into Bruce’s office. He leaves me standing in the centre of the room facing the large desk as he walked around it, his face still serious, very different from the Dick that entered the building. He was leaning and typing something into the computer and a few seconds later, the windows that were showing the night view of Gotham city, shut down. In fact, everything seemed to be tightly locked as if it is some fortress. 

“Dick, what’s going on? Why are you bringing me here?’ I asked, my voice laced with worry and agitation. 

“I need to tell you something and it won’t be easy.” he said, practically breathing out the words.   
“W-what?” 

He rounded the table to stand in front of me, meeting his eyes with mine and taking my hands in his, wrapping them as if he could send all the love through it. Fear radiated through his eyes, affecting me and I wanted to back away but I didn’t. I couldn’t. 

“Remember what we promised a few days ago?” he began, I nodded in response as he repeated the words, “No matter what happens, both of us, together.” I nodded again, in response, lost of words. What is he trying to imply?

“Mackenzie, I love you. I do, I really do. But what I do…I…”

“Dick, please, I can’t just stand here all night-“

“I’m Nightwing.”

I didn’t know how to react. My body is filled with so much emotion, all at once that I didn’t know what I was feeling. Confused, definitely. Shocked, damn straight. Mad? I’m not sure, though I do feel a surge of anger inside. Betrayed? Yup, that too. Nervous laughter bubbled out of me as I slip my fingers away from his, my feet automatically slowly moving backwards towards the elevator. I don’t think I can take this, I need space, a lot of space. 

“Mackenzie, Mackenzie are you all right?” he asked, his hands outstretched and moving slowly towards me, closing our distance as if I was some delicate toddler that was just learning how to walk. Sure, my feet may be wobbling but I’m not a toddler! I’m not fragile!

“What do you think, Dick?! There is no way, no chance in hell, you could be Nightwing!” I shouted hysterically, deniability won over. Tears streamed down my face as he commanded the computer to show me the gadgets from the previous missions that he went on. As if everything in this room is just a ruse to show a normal-looking office. I backed against the wall, my hand covering my mouth, trying to keep myself in check. 

“Please tell me you’re lying.” 

“Mackenzie, I’m not. This is who I am, who I’ve always been.”

“All these years…you’ve told me you were…” I began, pieces starting to connect together. Sometimes he wouldn’t come home at all, claiming he is staying in Bruce’s place after a late night. Then the ‘trips’ he took, only to come back with bruises that he claimed to be an ‘accident’ at work. If only I knew what ‘work’ really meant, then. He pulled me in, only to drop this bomb on me like it weighs nothing. 

My legs gave out and my knees hit the floor harder than I expected it to be. My hand covered my face as images after images of him leaving, of him coming home, excuses after excuses, lies after lies. All seven years’ worth of them. Had everyone knew but me? Was I that blind, that stupid? 

A sudden realisation came to me like a tidal wave. I wiped my tears and stood up to meet his eyes, which is filled with guilt and regret but I tried not to care. I had to know the truth. 

“Did you kill her?” Please say no. Please, please, please. 

He looked down, his eyes not daring to meet mine. His shoulders are now slumped, his black hair covering his eyes. I had the urge to brush them away but my hands stay planted on both sides of my thighs, curled up into fists. He didn’t have to say anything, because from the way he stood before me, I already knew. But he still told me, his familiar deep blue eyes boring into mine, glassy with unshed tears, as he said the one word that I grew to hate, “Yes.”


	6. Endings and Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a bit short, since I want to focus on the moment and what it meant for the both main characters and how it might affect the story. Hope ya'll enjoy the story so far!

I’ve never believed in love at first sight. I think all those are just bullshit, a marketing ploy to sell those cheesy cards, or chocolates. Hard facts, scientific explanations, that’s what I believe. But the moment when Dick’s eyes met mine, it was one of those slow moments as his blue eyes pierce into my soul. Perhaps I was exaggerating things, but that was how I always remembered it. 

I just finished my exams. Ella, my roommate, and I, decided to go to Dean’s party, who was Ella’s boyfriend and the member of a fraternity. I remember the pain on my right leg as we make our way to the entrance of the house, my high heels killing me. I would’ve taken it off as soon as we got out, but for some reason, Ella had convinced me to wear it, since it would be the last party before the break. ‘A last impression is as important as a first.’, Ella had said and I was sold. 

Loud music blared from inside and I could instantly feel the crowd pressing down on our bodies as we make our way from the door to the kitchen. Sweaty, drunk people. Oh, can’t forget the high people as well, sitting on one corner of the room looking as if they were seeing mythical creatures around the room. The room is dimmed into a grimy green colour and mixed with the smell of sweat, alcohol and weed, it fucking looks like a scene from a mafia film before shit happens.

Ella handed me a cup of beer and decided to leave me to look for her boyfriend. Leaving her alone in a frat party is not a good idea but she disappeared so fast I thought she must’ve had some superpowers. So, needing fresh air, I made my way to the backyard. I’ve visited Dean’s house a few times, mostly with Ella. The layout of the house is pretty familiar to me. 

Once on the backyard, the song changed into some shitty EDM remix and the shouts are getting louder. It’s a wonder that the neighbours hadn’t complained. Maybe they were out of town, maybe they were used to it, maybe the neighbours are inside. I don’t know. Why was I even wondering about the neighbours? 

I took a sip of my beer, sat on one of the cleaner lounge chairs that are facing the house, the one that is not filled with paper cups and food stains. A couple was making out beside me, the girl on top of the guy. I must’ve looked like one of the actors from a Katy Perry music video.

As I took a sip on my beer, glancing at my phone, re-organising my emails and pictures, desperate for something to do, the couple who were making out moved out of their seat, probably looking for a more private place to continue whatever they’re doing. The seat was empty for only about a second, before it was occupied again by a man. I peeked through my peripheral vision, curious as to who would be as disinterested at the party as I am. 

The man has the darkest hair, covering one of his eyes. He is slouching, also keeping his gaze focused on his phone. By the way he is sitting, one can tell that he works out, with his toned back and arms that would make any girl feel safe being wrapped around them. He is wearing a black T-shirt, hugging his body, with blue jeans that defined his sculpted thighs. He looked like someone out of GQ magazine. 

He must’ve noticed me staring, ‘cause he turned to me, smiled, then said, ‘Not the party type?’

Shocked, I shook my head, then once I could find the courage to reply, I asked, ‘You?’

‘Depends. I’m Dick, by the way.’ he said, extending his hand, smiling like he had found a secret treasure that no one knows about. 

‘Mackenzie.’ I replied, shaking his hand. 

I leaned against the back of the elevator, hugging my arms together, trying to give myself comfort. I stared on the ground, on Dick’s leather shoes, the same shoes that he had worn a few weeks ago when he asked me if I wanted to move in with him. Also the time when we watched a play and we were both asleep through it. Just a pair of shoes, but it held so much memories of our relationship together. A relationship so perfect, before he dropped a huge secret. Hah. Like Hannah Montana. 

“Mackenzie, are you okay?” he asked, turning to me, both his hands holding my elbows. I must’ve laughed out loud, because he looks at me as if I’ve gone mad. Maybe I have. 

I didn’t reply him and looked away instead, focusing my gaze on the buttons of the elevator. He understood my meaning and backed away, raking his hand through his hair, exasperated. 

“Look, I didn’t mean to keep this from you. But I’m not sorry.” 

I looked up at him as soon as he said that, waiting for him to say something else, something sweet to my ears, anything. But he didn’t. He chose the bitter truth. 

“I’ve kept you safe. I’ve kept you from ending up like…like…” he paused, struggling to say her name but I knew who he meant. Cheyenne. “…and…Barbs.” 

Tears overflow my eyes and they flow down my cheeks like a dam. I tried swallowing my sobs but it didn’t work. I’ve stopped crying and now I’m crying like a baby again. Fuck this, fuck emotions. I wanted to deny that he’s wrong, but he has a point. This freaking bastard has a point. But it didn’t change a thing. He not only lied to me, he had murdered someone. Murdered. The irony. I’ve worked so hard to put murderers in jail, but here I am, in love with one. I can’t do this. 

He looks like he is in pain as much as I am, his eyes filled with so much despair. And it took only one look from my expression to know that I can’t do this. I can’t continue living like how we used to be, after knowing this. 

“Let me drive you home.” he offered but I declined, opting for a taxi instead. He insisted some more and I told him that I needed space to think. He understood, then asked Alfred to send me home instead. 

Alfred, being a doting father figure that he is, ‘suggested’ that Dick go get his bearings while he snuck me out of the party, knowing how embarrassing it will be for me walking back to the party looking like a mess. I stared after his retreating form as the elevator doors closed once again, silently saying goodbye. 

“Miss Lee, if I may say so,” he paused, waiting for me to challenge him or something, to which I didn’t, then continued, “it will get easier. For both of you.” 

“Thanks, Alfred. You’ve always been so kind.” I said, hugging him. 

“I had to, raising all these boys.” he replied, shutting the door of the car, then he drove me off towards a fancy hotel near Blüdhaven. 

“I thought you might want space for the meantime, get your thoughts and emotions sorted before seeing Master Dick again.” he explained, something in front of the hotel. 

“I’ve booked a room and had the staff get you a change of clothes for the night. It should all be prepared in your room. ” 

I stared at him, both shocked and grateful at how quick he could think on his feet. I thanked him, hugging him once more, then telling him to take care of them, especially Dick. He only nodded at my words, before ushering me to the check-in counter and had the hotel staff personally escort me to my room. How many broken hearts had he taken care of, I wonder?


	7. One More Step

To say that I slept like a baby would truly be an overstatement. In fact, I hardly even slept at all. No matter how heavy my eyelids were, as soon as my head touched the pillow, it was as if my head was on high alert and it stayed that way for hours. I had kept the window open to stare at the night sky, the view keeping me company in one of the loneliest nights of my life. 

I wrapped the duvet tighter around me, reflecting on what had happened. Was I wrong to push him away? I understood his reasons, it was the fact that he was living a double life, that part I couldn’t handle. Not to mention, how was I going to face work tomorrow? It had felt wrong to be a part of this case, yet it was my first huge-profile case. Should I give up on my career just because I was dating the client? Hell, he hadn’t even mentioned anything about it, pretending that all this hadn’t happened. 

Now that I thought about it, everything had made sense. He was gone almost all the time, giving out the different excuses but I had looked the other way for some reason. Was I that busy, that distracted, that stupid? No wonder his eyes had looked so familiar that night, no wonder he had not questioned so much about what had happened to me that night. I had assumed that he was giving me space, but it turned out that he was actually there. The thing is, why did he suddenly tell me last night? 

My phone rang, vibrating against the table so I picked it up without checking the person in the Caller ID. “Hello?” I said, my voice hoarse, my throat dry. 

“Mackenzie?” a familiar deep voice replied. It is unmistakable that it is a man’s voice, but who? He sounds so familiar. And as if he could read my thoughts, he clarified, “it’s Bruce Wayne.”

I sat up straighter and my eyes flashed open wide. Why would Bruce be calling me in the morning? “Bruce-…I mean, Mr.Wayne…” I staggered, to which he said, “Please, just call me Bruce.”

“Right, Bruce. Umm…why…?” 

“I think it’s best if you could come by quickly. We’ll explain everything once you’re here.”

“Where, exactly?”

“Wayne Manor.” he said, then hangs up the phone before I could reject. It must be about Dick, or they wouldn’t have called me. 

I leapt out of bed and practically ran to the bathroom, getting ready as fast as I can. And in 30 minutes, I was already downstairs, wearing a black hoodie and a pair of blue jeans with my Chucks. I sprinted through the lobby and cursed. Shit, my car! 

I ran out to the sidewalk and flagged a cab. As luck would have it, the first taxi that passed through the street stopped in front of me. Still clutching my phone and my wallet tightly in my hand, I went in and told them the address to the Wayne Manor. My mind raced to the worst possibilities of what might happened to the point that Bruce had called me in the morning. For one thing, Bruce never called my phone. We were not that close. What could possibly happen?

Once the cab had arrived at the front gates, I paid the driver and ran out to the entrance. I knocked on the door, sweat starting to pour on my back. Damn the weather, damn the sun and the heat. I was breathless once I reached the door, cursing at myself for not exercising enough. 

Alfred opened the door and ushered me in without a word. He led me towards the stairs, through the hallway, to where I assumed must be Dick’s room. I was silent all the way. I had never been given a proper tour through the Manor, for Dick had not been living in Manor ever since he left for college. Yet the architecture hadn’t changed from the last time I had visited, which would probably be months ago when we had dinner with the Wayne family. 

I didn’t know what to expect when Alfred opened the door to his room. My mind had conjured up the worst of all images, an image of Dick dying surrounded by the people who cared for him but powerless to save him. It reminded me of what had happened to my parents and I didn’t think I could go through that again. 

But what I’ve seen from the doorway, was as bad as the image in my head and I didn’t think I could ever forget the sight. The sight of Bruce standing over the bed like a guardian, with his arms crossed against his chest. Tim was standing beside his adoptive father, staring at his brother, lying on the bed with injuries so severe I would’ve thought he had died. 

Dick was not wearing anything but his underwear and the bandages across his body. An oxygen mask was attached, with a stream of IV. His hair is greasy with sweat as if he had been exercising so much. His face glistened with sweat, along with his shoulders and most parts of his body, as if he head been screaming in pain a few moments ago. His eyes are closed. His arms are in a sling which could have meant that he had broke a few bones. Broken ribs as well, from the sound of his breathing and from what Alfred had told me. I covered my mouth with my hand all the while, trying not to let the sadness and the sight overcome as Alfred listed down the extensive lists of his injuries. 

“How did this happen?” I asked, facing Bruce, expecting him to explain. 

“There was an explosion last night when he was about to tell everyone everything.” Bruce explained, sounding like a concerned father. 

“What do you mean telling everyone everything?” 

“Dick had planned to tell everyone what had happened that night of Cheyenne’s death. It had been plaguing him ever since.” he said, eyeing his son. 

“He was going to tell everyone he’s Nightwing.” I muttered, more to myself. It was the most heroic thing to do, to confess all his crimes but he had saved more lives than actually committed crimes. If he had planned to reveal to everyone who he really is, everything would be over. People are going to make assumptions on the identity of Batman, of everyone who had worked with Batman. The press will hound him to no end. He would go to jail. 

“He wasn’t.” Tim’s words broke my thoughts. We all turned to him, waiting for him to explain. Tim sighed before explaining, “Dick wouldn’t be that stupid. He wouldn’t just be exposing his secret, he would’ve exposed ours as well.” Tim paused, turned to me and gave me a look as if to say ‘don’t tell me you’re that stupid’ before continuing, “He was going to set the record straight about the events that happened last night. He was going to tell everyone that he, Dick Grayson, not Nightwing, murdered Cheyenne and that was because she had only begged him to.”

I moved back against the wall, needing support. Everything finally clicked into place. The questions I’ve had last night but was too afraid to pick up the phone or stay to ask. Alfred had walked out of the door to fetch something to eat for all of us, so it was just Bruce, Tim and I in the room guarding Dick, who was still passed out on his bed. The lights were off, with only the Sun shining through the window that served as the light.

“Mackenzie, Dick never meant to kill Cheyenne. He was only doing so because she begged him to, she was already dying.” Tim explained, walked up to me, putting both his hands on my shoulders as if to shake me into realisation. “He was going to tell everyone that it was Dick Grayson and not Nightwing who had killed her. We had already even altered all the footage. He didn’t want to stop being Nightwing. Anyway, all that happened before he got to be on stage. The explosion knocked him out before he could utter the words.”

“Well how’s he going to do that from jail?”

“That’s where you’ll come in. We need your help.” Bruce said. 

“I’m dropping the case.” I announced but they didn’t seemed to be surprised. I had made my mind last night. I didn’t think I could live through life as it is if my boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, was sent to jail because of me. He deserved someone more experienced defending him. That is if he recovered in time before the trial. 

“Dick hadn’t wanted you to drop the case.” Bruce said. “We need your help. But I need all the evidence that you and your team had recovered. We would need all the ammunition we could get to prove him not guilty.”

“We would have to pin it on someone else.” I suggested. “But the most important thing is that we would have to find someone who had tortured Cheyenne in the beginning. That was what my team was trying to do.” I explained. 

“Indeed. I had suspected for it to be Penguin, all the facts seemed to point to him.” Tim said. 

“I think it’s best if you don’t drop the case. I’d provide you with a new team if you have problems with your current one.”

“No, Bruce it’s not that. I don’t think I could handle it if Dick went to jail because of me.”

“Well, I’d like you to think about it clearly. Dick needs you.” he said and left the room without a word, probably looking for Alfred. 

Tim stood there, gave me a warm hug, then told me, “I understand. Bruce would understand if you are going to drop the case.”

“I’ll think about it, Tim.” I replied, forcing a reassuring smile at him. He nodded in reply, then said, “I’ll leave you two alone.”, and with one look at his unconscious brother, he walked out of the door. 

It was only when they were gone that I let the tears I had been holding, fall freely. I walked up to him, sat on the edge of the bed, took his cold uninjured hand, covering mine with his. I traced the new scar on his cheek, wondering how could all this had happened to a good man. The world is truly a horrible place. 

His eyes slowly fluttered open, turning to mine and I smiled down at him. I wanted to call for Bruce, Tim or Alfred and was about to get up but he gripped my wrist, as if to tell me that he didn’t want them here, not yet. I sat back down staring at him as he stared back at me. 

I smiled at him and picked up the towel next to his bedside. I moved closer to him and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. “I’m sorry for running out on you last night.” I said, ignoring his gaze because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to go on. 

“You tried to do the right thing by telling me beforehand and I was being a coward by running away.” I paused, daring my gaze to meet his. I didn’t need him to tell me to know how he had felt, it was all in his eyes. Regret, then acceptance. 

“Anyway, I just want you to know that…I think…I, I understand.” I confessed, a tear escaped from my eye but I went on, “I’ll stay with you, no matter who you are, Dick Grayson. You can be the worst villain for all I care and I’d still stay with you.”  
His chest rose up then down and a puff of air clouds his oxygen mask, as if he was releasing a breath of relief. He smiled against his mask and if he wasn’t wearing it, I would’ve placed a kissed on those lips. So instead, I placed my lips on his forehead, his eyes closing at the feel of my lips on his skin. 

“I love you.” I whispered, as I touched my forehead to his, both of us smiling like idiots as his hand was wrapped around mine.


	8. Bumps

A month had passed and we were making progress, at least I had hoped it was called progress. An official statement detailing the truth about what had happened that night was about to be released tonight. Dick hadn’t fully recovered yet but he was getting there. He still needed a cane to walk around, let alone going on missions. I had practically moved in to the Wayne Manor, only leaving for work. 

As for work, I had decided to quit the case, only acting as a consultant instead. I’ve managed to give my team almost everything short of the real identity of Nightwing. Tim had even taken me to the Batcave, where i spent most of the time trying not to gape at whatever technology they had possessed.

A few weeks earlier, they had captured the culprit behind the explosion. It was Black Mask, who claimed that he was threatened by a mysterious man. After several beatings, he still wouldn’t give away the identity, still claiming that he didn’t know who that man was. I had hoped it wasn’t…no it couldn’t be. 

I leaned my head against the window, feeling the coldness of the glass seeping through my head. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm my nerves. I can get through this, I thought, as I pulled my arms around myself. 

“Mackenzie he’s going to be okay.” Bruce said from behind and I nearly jumped at his voice. 

“I’m fine, Bruce.”

“No you’re not. There’s a stick in your pocket and you had looked like you were praying. So what did it say?” 

Damn him for being so perceptive.”I don’t know, I don’t think I want to know.” I replied, my voice unsure. What could this mean for us? Do I even want one now? I was never the ‘mother’ type, having lost both my mother at an early age, then my father a few years later. My only family was my grandmother, who passed away three years ago. I was always alone since then, except for Dick. 

“If you must know, i had given him plenty of lectures of using protection.” he said and I nearly laughed, nearly, if the situation wasn’t so dire. 

“We had always-“ I started but stopped myself. No way was I going to talk about our sex life with Bruce Wayne, out of all the people in this world. So instead, I said, “Nevermind. It wasn’t intentional, what with all that’s going on.” 

“I figured. Just take a look at the test, I’m sure Dick would want to know as well.” he said, before he disappeared into the elevator and leaving me alone with my emotions. 

Gathering all the courage I could muster, I fished the stick from my pocket and held it up, trying to decipher the meaning until a force hit the back of my head and everything faded away.


	9. Not Today

Laughing. I heard maniacal laughing. I tried opening my eyes and a wave of nausea nearly knocked me over as soon as the light hits my eyes. What happened? I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, my neck is being strapped against the table. I tried moving my hands, legs, they are strapped as well, with the cold metal against my back. 

Why am I held down? Wha-what happened? I closed my eyes as another wave of nausea hits and clenched my fists. When I open them again, my vision is all fuzzy, except for the light, shining bright above me. 

I tried recalling what got me here. The apartment, the window, Bruce, the stick, the blow to the head. My eyes widen at the memory. Oh fuck. I tried resisting the straps but it didn’t work, it is too tight. What had the stick said? I didn’t get a chance to properly look before I blacked out. The more I move, the more it seemed like my body is in pain. I could feel the cold air on my stomach, as if I was naked but it couldn’t be. I was still wearing my clothes, the sleeves are still visible on my arms. I craned my head up to see if I had any injuries around my body and the sight caused me to shout and wail like a banshee. 

There are blood around my abdomen, as if it stabbed open. There are so much blood, I couldn’t even see how bad it was. My hoodie is cut open as if whoever did this had to conduct an emergency surgery. I was fine, I was about to-no, I couldn’t bring myself to that thought. I hadn’t known what the answer to the test was, so there was a chance that…that I might not even be…I shook my head at the thought, not even giving myself that flickering surge of hope. 

Another wave of laughter was heard and it was just not any laughter. The kind of laughter that send chills down your spine. The kind of laughter that people run away from. It was then joined by another female voice, with her exclaiming, “Do it, Mistah J! Do it!”

There was no response, only a laugh, then footsteps getting louder, getting closer to me. I tried to wiggle out of my straps but it still didn’t work, despite the pain. A tear escaped my eye before the Joker appeared in my vision. 

“Well hello there!” he said, holding up a baseball bat. 

“Please…” I begged, my vision blinded with tears and I sobbed. 

“But, but mommy, I love torturing people!” he whined, to Harley’s delight as she ‘aww’ed at the monster. Joker slapped her across the face, “Keep quiet, Harley! I’m trying to work here!” he shouted, all the happiness gone from his face in an instant. 

“Now, speaking of mommy, do you know who’s going to be a mommy?”

“I know! I know!” Harley shouted, raising her hand like an eager student. “She is, Mistah J! She is! HAHAHAHAHA” she exclaimed, pointing at my direction. I couldn’t trust them, no. There was no way, they could’ve lied. They’re insane. 

“But don’t worry, I’m going to help you because I’m such a nice person. Am I a nice person, Harley?” 

“Of course you are, puddin’! You are the nicest person in the whole world!” 

“See? I’m going to help you Mackenzie, don’t you worry. I know you don’t want to be a mommy, so I’ll kill it for you.”

“Please, please, don’t.” I cried, but to no avail, he moved to stand beside me and raising his baseball bat. I cried harder, trying to twist to the other side, something, anything to protect it from him despite the blinding pain. The straps, they were too tight. 

The baseball bat hit my lower abdomen so hard my body jumped against the table. I could feel the squishing sound of the blood, my blood on my stomach. He hit it again, laughing while Harley cheered by his side, as the blood rises up to my neck and started to flow out of my mouth. Then another hit, and another, and another, to the point I couldn’t even feel it anymore. Yet I didn’t stop screaming, I screamed and cried as loud as I could, shouting for help. 

When they stopped, Joker gave Harley the baseball bat as Harley handed him the big knife. I stared at the light, moving my head away from the sight of them. Death would be a mercy. Yes, yes it would. I would see my parents again, see my mother again. Maybe I’ll see it, too. I’m sorry, so so sorry, Dick. I closed my eyes, ready for the blow and the pain. It wasn’t until when Joker raised his knife that he was knocked over, followed by a scream by Harley. 

I wrenched my eyes open to see what had happened. Dick was standing over the light, wearing his Nightwing uniform. He looked exhausted, as if he had aged a few decades. I smiled at the beautiful sight of him as my eyelids got heavier. I’m so sorry, Dick, but I have to leave. I was still smiling as he shouted for the Batman, his hands trying to break the straps as he tried to command me to stay awake but I couldn’t. I am about to leave, I tried to say goodbye but my lips wouldn’t move, as blind spots tried to cloud my vision and I couldn’t hold it any longer, I let the darkness consumed me. 

 

It was like a dreamless sleep. Time had gone on, but I was still asleep like a baby. There was nothing but the soothing darkness. I had a few flashes of memories, snippets of happier times. Was this how it felt like to be dead? I had thought there would be like what most movies described, a long stairway filled with clouds and the pearly gates. There was none, just darkness and a few random flashes of memories. Memories of my childhood, where my mother and I was in a park, blowing dandelions. Then it reverted to my father, telling me about the mechanics of a car. Then Dick, when we first started dating. 

A beep was the first thing I heard. Then followed by another beep, then another, then another, like a rhythm. After that, a few muffled voices, as if they were having a hushed argument. Two deep voices. Then they were replaced by the soothing voice of a woman. Sometimes, with all the chaos and the violence in the world that the men dominated, there just had to be a soothing voice of a woman to calm everything down. To provide softness and peace in this chaotic world. 

The voices of the men stopped as I focused only on the woman’s voice, who assured me that everything is okay, that I was in a safe place and that I could open my eyes anytime I want. The beeping of the machine slowed a little and I could feel myself getting calmer. Hospital, I was in a hospital. I was not dead. 

Her voice faded, then only one voice remained, my favourite voice in the entire world. The voice of him. Dick had his hand wrapped around mine, his thumb caressing my wrist as if he was making sure that there was still a pulse there, despite the machines showing my heartbeat. He just had to know for himself. 

“I’m sorry, Kenzie. I should’ve been there instead of staying in the Manor. If I have, you wouldn’t have been here, nearly battered to death. I want you to know that I still intend to keep our promise that we will go away after all this is over. We will go wherever you want to go, Kenzie, I promise you that.” he said, placing a kiss on my head while still keeping his hand wrapped around mine. 

My body had never felt so weak, but with all the strength I had left, I mentally force it to my hand and squeeze his back. I could feel the shock on his face at the slight squeeze of my hand. He placed another hand on my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin. 

“Kenzie?” 

Slowly, I forced myself to open my eyes and to my surprise, it worked this time. His face greeted mine first, the whole room was kept dark, just the way I had liked it. I wanted to smile but my throat felt so dry I couldn’t speak for fear of the pain. 

“Water.” I said, my voice gruff. 

He released me and pour a glass of water from the bedside table. He must’ve been staying here long to have a jug of water prepared. How long had he been staying here? Did he even go home to shower at all? His beard is starting to show and I itch to touch it, to have some touch of familiarity. 

Dick took a seat on the edge of the bed right beside me, then gently pulled me up as he fed me the glass of water. I could feel the water going down my throat, as if it was cleaning all the bad stuff that had happened. Who would’ve thought the great Nightwing would play nurse? 

He placed a kiss on my temple, placing the glass back on the table and gently put my back against the bed. He leaned his back as well, half lying down next to me while his feet is on the floor. The nurse would have a heart attack if she saw us right now. He tried not to knock over or lie on my IV or something. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder, inhaling his smell. 

“Dick, I have to tell you something.” I started and we could hear the beeping of the machine getting slightly faster as he lean his head against mine. 

“I know about the baby.”

“I…”

“Mackenzie,” Dick started, taking my hand and wrapping it around like a few minutes ago. He took a deep breath, then continued, “the test was negative after all. The doctor said you were never pregnant.”

“But the Joker…” 

“He’s a sick bastard.”

A tear slid down my cheek, then followed by another until it wouldn’t stop as if the dam had slowly broken. I sniffled and placed my head closer to his neck. I don’t think I can stand this anymore. I can’t stand the lies, the deceit, the heartbreak. Hell, I can’t stand the shock. 

“When I found out about the test, I knew I had to find you quick. The test was just lying on the ground as if you dropped it. I ran to the toilet and found the box still sitting on the sink and came to the conclusion myself. It was negative.”

“Dick I didn’t want the baby.” I blurted, expecting to feel the coldness or his sudden distance but there was none. 

“I know, I understand. It would be a bad time, we wouldn’t be ready, it would be terrible.” he said, then when he realised what he said, he quickly corrected, “It’s not that having a child with you is terrible, it’s just that I don’t think with all that’s going on, having a child is going to be ideal.”

“Bruce would be a grandfather.” I smiled at the thought of Grandpa Bruce, with white hair and everything. 

Dick laughed and said, “Maybe someday, but not today.”, placing a kiss on my head. 

“Not today.” I agreed.


	10. Demons

I had finally persuaded Dick to go home and change. He is starting to smell and he is starting to have a five o’clock shadow. He only agreed to go if there was someone else keeping me company, not daring to take any more chances. Somehow, Bruce was free and decided to stay while he went back to the Manor and change, since it was closer to the hospital. 

Bruce walked in the room looking every inch the powerful man that he is. He looked so much like Dick, that I would’ve believed if Dick was his biological son. The same black hair, the same pale skin, only he looked older with slight wrinkles on his forehead. He was wearing a suit, as if he was just stepping out of the office. 

“Hi Kenzie.” he greeted. We were on first-name basis now after Dick’s accident. We shared almost similar views when it came to the people we love. 

“Bruce.” I greeted back, turning down the volume of the TV. 

He pulled out a chair next to me and I sat up straighter, shock and curiosity plastered all over my face. He leaned forward, his elbows touching his knees and grasped his hand together as if he was about to pray. Huh. 

“Listen, Kenzie, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way…” he started, my breath hitched, but he continued, “but I need you to convince Barbara Gordon to drop the charges.”

I was not sure whether to laugh or to curse with rage. She was the reason why Nightwing was in this situation in the first place. Before…before it happened, the riot got so big that we were all sure that the charges would be dropped, until she went up to the podium and said all that god-forsaken speech. Of course, all the judges or anyone who hold any political power at all, agreed with her. They didn’t like the idea of a vigilante making the police force look weak. 

Besides seeing her in the media and meeting her father in person, I’ve never actually met the woman. Though I knew the history between Dick and her. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. It was not like I hadn’t had my fair share of ex-boyfriends. Still, the prospect of meeting her in person, I was not sure if I would last the whole meeting without gouging her eyes out. 

“Shouldn’t you ask Dick to do it instead?” I blurted, sounding more like a jealous girlfriend than what I actually meant. 

“It wouldn’t be right, she wouldn’t want to see him.”

“So I was supposed to meet her instead.” I replied, still unconvinced.

“I’m not asking you to go as his girlfriend, I’m asking you to go as his lawyer.” he said, his tone serious.

I found myself nodding to his suggestion. We had exhausted almost all options but pinning the murder on an innocent and actually being civilised to the new Commissioner Barbara Gordon. She had just been promoted, which meant that she was eager to prove herself. I didn’t know if I could stand speaking with someone who’s naive and so self-absorbed. Then again, this option is the lesser of two evils. But why now? Why after all…this?

“Why now?” I asked, curiosity flaring up inside me. I had suggested this a few weeks ago when Dick was asleep but no one agreed. Bruce was quiet the whole time. Now that I thought about it, he was actually considering and waiting for the right time. 

“Because she would understand what you are going through.” 

 

Approximately two hours later, Bruce had left and I was asleep. Bruce had turned off the lights and checked everything before deciding it was best to let me rest. I knew by the time he had closed the door that Dick was here in the hospital. But by the time he made it upstairs, I was already deep asleep. 

I felt the dip on one side of the bed and opened my eyes to see Dick in his Nightwing uniform. I turned my head towards the window to see that the sky had already darken. I turned back to him and put my fingers around his wrist as he stared down at me. 

“Be careful, okay?” I said, my voice groggy. 

“You know I will. I just had to come by to see you before I go.”

“Did the nurses see you?”

“No, they didn’t. I’m sorry for waking you up. Go back to sleep.” 

I nodded in reply and closed my eyes as he placed a kiss on my lips, whispering, “I love you.” My lips turned to a grateful smile against his, my heart warming at the gesture as I whispered, “I love you too.” And just like that, he was gone like the wind. 

But despite all the sweetness and the warmth of his gesture, I was plagued with nightmares all throughout the night. I could still hear faint murmurings of them. Hell, I could still recall the blows I’ve took, the pain and the agony was still there. My hand flew to my abdomen, at the injury as I felt a slight shiver from it. 

I remember wrenching my eyes open and the white ceiling was the first thing I see. The beeping of the machine got faster and faster and I brought my hand up to my chest, trying to take deep breaths as panic rises up but it didn’t work. I saw them, I saw them again. The Joker and Harley, they were coming and walking towards me, smiling and laughing. I remember the pain, the agony of losing a child I thought I was carrying. 

Needless to say, I hadn’t managed to get back to sleep that night. I spent the rest of the evening just staring at the ceiling and eventually, watching the TV. I hadn’t bothered checking my phone, nor the clock. I just focused all my attention on the TV, on the cooking show that was showing us how to make some exotic European dish. 

I was still staring at the TV like a hypnotised maniac when the nurse entered to check up on me and giving me another round of pain meds. 

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” she asked, handing me a cup of pills and another cup of water. 

Dark circles must’ve shown under my eyes because she had looked worried. I wordlessly nodded and took the cup and swallowed the pills in one gulp of water. Instead of relief that I expected, the nurse looked even more worried. I looked down, ashamed. 

“Is Dick here yet?” I asked, twiddling my thumbs. 

“No, but he’s probably on his way.” she replied, checking my vitals and my bandages, before she added sweetly, “You have an amazing boyfriend who cares for you.” 

“Thanks.” I said, looking back at the TV. 

“Are you feeling okay this morning? Have you been sleeping well?” 

I shook my head, my eyes are still on the TV as another cooking show had taken over the channel. I couldn’t stop staring and I could feel the nurse’s eyes still on me. I hadn’t dared to turn my head, for fear that they might appear again. 

Just as she exited my room, Dick walked in. I didn’t need to turn my head to know, because I would know him anywhere. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, his head covering the screen of the TV as if he was purposely trying to make me look at him. A tear escaped my eye, then a sniffle and he immediately gathered me in his arms, as I sob uncontrollably on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me tighter. 

“I-I c-can’t s-sleep.” I cried. “I k-kept on s-seeing h-h-him.”


	11. At A Merciful Death

It had been a month since it happened. It had been a month and I still wake up screaming from my bed, thrashing and crying. It was not just the sleeping as well, I couldn’t stand the dark anymore. I used to love being in the dark, loving the comfort it provided me, but now I can’t stand even an inch of darkness alone. Dick, Dick was the only one I trusted to be in the dark with me. Because without him, I’d be seeing their faces everywhere. So whenever he was out, I would’ve turned on all the lights even though I wouldn’t be in the room. I won’t take any chances. 

I’ve also been seeing a psychiatrist, a kind lady called Helen. She had been helping me a lot with my issues, prescribing the meds I need, especially the sleeping pills that never worked. I stare at the bottle of pills I’m supposed to take to help with the schizophrenia and paranoia, shame overtaking my body as I shove two in my mouth and take a swig of the cup of water, swallowing it down in a gulp. 

I look up, staring at my ugly face. Dark circles under my eyes that I tend to cover with make-up, my cheeks seemed hollower than a few months ago. But then again, I was happier then. How did my life ever came to this?

My phone vibrated against the marble counter of our kitchen. The screen lights up to show Barbara’s name, telling me that she’s on her way to the cafe a few minutes away from my place. I look away, my hands gripping the edge of the counter so tight I hope it would bruise. To my disappointment, it didn’t. 

I’m doing this for him, I’m doing this for him. I chanted in my head like a mantra, trying to calm myself down. Sighing out loud, I pick up my phone and answer her, telling her that I’ll see her there. That insufferable bitch. 

She was supposed to make things easier, but for the fucking name of ‘Justice’, she only made things harder. I would’ve blasted a bullet through her fucking head. Hell, I’d rather blast a bullet through my own fucking head than spending time with her. But I’m doing this for Dick. I’m going to survive this, for him. 

A few minutes later, I am already there, standing in line for the coffee. I placed my order when it was my turn and walk to the place where she was already sitting, a cup of black coffee in her hand. I place my cup of tea in front of me, lean back against my chair and cross my hands. 

She is wearing a white blouse, with black trousers, her hair is being tied up into a ponytail. Her elbows are resting on the two handles of her wheelchair. How ironic, two women who had a taste of the Clown Prince of Gotham. Who were both still suffering for it. 

“So, you wanted to meet me?” she started, taking one sip of her drink. 

“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush.” I said, as she raise an eyebrow but I ignore it and continue, “I need you to drop the charges.”

“What charges?” she replied, the bitch pretending to be clueless. 

“Stop fucking around, you know what I’m talking about. I need you to drop the charges.”

“Why would I do that? On what basis? Did you have prove that he didn’t kill her?”

“It was a suicide, she wanted to end the pain. He would’ve saved her if he thought he could.”

“Yet he didn’t, yet he murdered her, didn’t he?”

“Wow, I never thought you could be such an insufferable bitch, to even ignore a dying woman’s last wish.” I said, opting for sarcasm, instead of letting my anger take over my mouth in public. She stays silent, unable to answer, so I add, “You should know how it feels like to actually wish for death.” My gaze slid to her legs, her chair, before standing up and leaving her alone in the table, speechless. 

Instead of going home, I decide to drive to the office instead. I can’t stand to be in the house stuck to my own company any longer. Dick went to Jump City this morning with Tim for a few days to manage some problems the Teen Titans are dealing with. 

So instead of staying home like Dick specifically expected me to, I decide to go back to work instead. I feel perfectly well enough to actually go back to handling a few minor cases. Back to my old routine. It should be great, a chance to go back to something normal for once. 

My assistant greets me in surprise as I walk in, telling me that the case files are all on my desk. Some of them, the ones that are more time-sensitive, are reassigned to my colleagues after I got into the accident. I thank her and walk into my office, popped another pill from my purse, swallowing it dryly and begin working again. 

A few hours later, I am still typing on my computer when a familiar ringtone takes my attention. I finished the sentence, then pick up my phone. 

“Dick?” 

“Where are you? I called our home a few times and no one answered.”

“I’m in the office.” 

“Mackenzie-“ 

“I met Barbara.” I cut him off and was rewarded with silence. The only indication that he is still connected is the fact that I can still hear his breathing. 

“Dick?”

“Did Bruce made you do it?”

“He asked but I agreed to it.”

“Why?”

“Dick, despite what you had with her, how it ended, Bruce thought that maybe she would’ve still cared for you. He wanted me to persuade her to drop the charges, since there had been the petitions, the lack of evidence…”

“Then why didn’t Bruce send me? Why did he send you instead?”

“He thought she would be able to empathise with me, but I stormed off instead.”

“Bruce shouldn’t use you like this, you were kidnapped for god’s sake!”

“And I survived, Dick, I survived. I’m doing this for you, for us. I can’t let you got to jail for helping a friend.”

“I killed her, Kenzie. I fucking killed her.”

“I know you did but she was dying, it was not your fault.” I paused, then, “It was never your fault.” My grip on the phone tightening.

“I’m retiring.” he confessed all of a sudden and my grip immediately loosen.


	12. Deceit

“You are?” I replied, my voice sounding higher than I expected, filled with hope. A tear slid down my cheek and I nearly sobbed with relief. 

Though I never told Dick, but he must’ve suspected at the fact that I didn’t particularly agree with the crime-fighting part of his life. I’ve never told him out loud, but he could’ve seen it in my face every time he had to leave me after I found out that he was Nightwing. It was not like I wanted him to stop being Nightwing, ‘cause Nightwing is a part of him. I accepted that. It was just that with everything that is going on, I worry for his safety. While he worries for the safety of Gotham, I worry for him. 

“For a few months, or until this all blows over. This is why I had to go meet the Titans, I need to tell them in person.”

I nodded, though I know he couldn’t see me right now. “Be careful, okay?”

“You know I always am.” he smirked, then he reminds me that I shouldn’t be working too late, telling me that I should call him once I’m home. I went back to work after that. 

Once I arrive home, I immediately walk towards the bathroom, drawing a bath. The lights are still on and I didn’t even bother turning it off. I sink into the warm water, sighing at the warmth. I hug my knees, staring into the distance as I am overcome with a wave of memory. 

“But you can never be sure, can’t you?” Addy said, holding the box up to my face, dangling it in front of me as if she was daring me to take it. We had been best friends since I worked here and confided in each other when we both were having difficulties. We met as para-legals and became fast friends one night when we were the only ones left to stay late at night.   
“It was just pure exhaustion, Addy.” I argued, moving away from the box to wash my hands. 

“Yeah, right. You were late, you just threw your guts out a few seconds ago. And don’t think I didn’t realise you were doing the same thing every 15 minutes now since last week.”

“It’s the flu, you knew I was sick.” 

I was about to walk out of the bathroom when she blocked my path. Her eyes were flashing with concern as she shoved that box on my chest. “Take the test, Kenzie. It’s better to know for sure.” And just like that, she walked away, leaving me looking dumbfounded, holding the box against my chest. 

Then another flash of memory take over.

“Ms.Mackenzie Lee?” the doctor asked, scribbling on her clipboard. 

“Yes?” I replied, my hands clasped together. 

Dick was gone, I had finally convinced him to go home and change. He had started to smell. 

“Mr.Grayson told me that you thought you were pregnant when you…” she didn’t have to say it, I knew what she meant. But some part of me still clinging on the tiny thread of hope. “…Well, I can assure you that you were not pregnant. You were never pregnant. And I’m sorry for saying this, but I don’t think you could conceive anymore.” And just like that, the thread snapped. 

“W-wha-at d-do y-yo-u m-mean?” I staggered, my hands trembling as I fisted the bedsheets. 

“You’ve lost your ability to conceive naturally. The injury on your uterus and some parts of your fallopian tube is too serious, there’s nothing we could’ve done to salvage it. I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I step out of the bath, drying myself with a towel, put on a white robe and walk out of the bathroom. I hadn’t told Dick about it. I couldn’t find the courage to. What would he think? How would he react to the news that I can’t give him what he wanted? To do something every woman should be able to do.He had said that he wanted on someday. How was I supposed to tell him? 

My knees gave away at the thought and I stared at the ground blankly, with my knees on the floor. I look like I’m kneeling for someone but I’m not, I'm just…lost. 

I didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps are getting louder until it stops completely and the view of the floor was replaced with the view of a pair of black shoes. I look up, expecting violence or something, anything, but I am greeted with a smirk from none-other than the infamous Jason Todd. 

“I didn’t know you tend to kneel at strangers.” 

I go back to my feet immediately and wrap my arms around my waist, giving Jason the ‘Are you serious?’ look before I say, “What the fuck are you doing here, Jason?”

“What if I told you I know who attacked Cheyenne?”

“Who? And how did you find out?”

“So many questions, sister-in-law. But you might need to sit for this one.” he suggested, his head gesturing to the direction of the bed. 

Feeling like an invalid, I sit on the edge of the bed as he stands in front of me, his arms crossed. He is so different from Dick. He’s way more impulsive than Dick, more reckless. He is wearing a red hoodie and a pair of blue jeans with black shoes, looking more younger than his age. 

“Explain.”

“I haven’t told Bruce this, by the way. Not sure how he would react.”

“Stop beating around the bush, Jason, or I’ll tell Dick you saw me naked in my robe.” I threatened even though it’s not true, my robe is tightly secured. Yet, if I did tell Dick, he would’ve rush back home and beat Jason out of the vision of me naked. The thought makes me smile but I try not to show it. 

“Fine, don’t wanna mess with good ol’ Dickie. Anyway, the Oracle attacked Cheyenne, herself.” he said, casually as if the news didn’t faze him one bit. I don’t know if I should thank him or hit him.


	13. Crossfire

“The Oracle, involved in the murder of Cheyenne? No way, the bitch couldn’t have done it herself.”

“Not herself of course, she wouldn’t get her hands that dirty. She hired someone.”

“And how do you know all this?”

He fished out an envelope from the pocket of his jeans and handed it to me. I took it, teared the edge and gasped at the contents. Not only was there proof that might destroy the great Oracle, but would destroy their names for generations to come. But was it worth it, just to prove Dick’s innocence? More importantly, what was Jason’s purpose to doing all this? For all I know, they were not close. 

“What’s your purpose in all this?” I asked, echoing my thoughts. 

“I just feel like it’s time Dick stopped feeling guilty for something that’s not his fault.” he shrugged, even though there was pain and understanding in his eyes. I raised my eyebrow in question, wondering what has gotten into him. The infamous Jason Todd, doing something nice for nothing. No way. 

“I don’t have anything against Dick, if that’s what you’re worried about.” he paused, waiting for my reaction and when I didn’t give any, he continued, “Look, I have all the contact details to verify the sources in the envelope. Release it to the media, tell Dick, hell, tell Bruce if you need to.” 

“I believe you.” I blurted, looking down at the evidence that would exonerate the Gordon family from their heroic image. Jason only nodded in reply before walking out of the apartment. 

I scattered the evidence all over the bed, piecing all of it together, with the paper containing the list of contacts on my hand. They were all pictures. Pictures of Barbara Gordon and a man with short brown hair, wearing a pair of glasses. They were embracing in an alley somewhere. There were dates on them so I arranged them from the oldest to the latest.

The first row was Barbara Gordon and the man embracing, then it evolved to a CCTV footage of the man entering her house. A few months later, that same man was seen with Cheyenne, also taken from a CCTV footage in a bar. I looked at the date of the picture and found that it was actually a month exactly from her death. 

Then the next was not a picture, but a USB with a date pasted on it. I took it and plugged it into my laptop that was sitting on the bedside table. I increased the volume to the highest level and my mouth hang open at the realisation of what it actually contained. A full telephone conversation between Cheyenne and the mysterious man. It seemed like they were in love, what with all the chatting about eloping and everything. And when the conversation ended, it changed to an audio recording of the sound of something being beaten up repeatedly. There was a slap, then a loud thud that followed right after it. It just went on and on and on, then I heard Cheyenne begging him to stop. The audio stopped there. 

I ran back to the pile of evidence that was scattered across the bed, deep in thought. The last few remaining documents were not just pictures from CCTV footages, but also a profile of the mysterious man. Not just any mysterious man. He was a part of the Police Department, working alongside Barbara Gordon. His name was Jason Bard. An honourable man, with his head up deep in Justice’s ass, just like Barbara. It seemed like they were two piece cut from the same cloth. 

So this man, Jason Bard, was so deeply in love with Barbara Gordon, that he was manipulated by the bitch herself to not only commit murder, but also gross bodily harm on an innocent woman. The most appalling part, is that Barbara Gordon was doing all this for Dick. Why? I have no fucking clue. 

The last evidence on the edge of the bed caught my attention then. I stared at it disbelievingly. There was no way she would be this despicable and insane. My hand went to my lower abdomen on instinct, feeling its hollowness inside me. No fucking way. It was her, she orchestrated my kidnapping. But how did she make the Crime Prince of Gotham do it? Joker has no conscience, no rationality. So is his lover, Harley Quinn. So how?

And when I was on the brink of death, it was pure luck that Dick found me and rescued me. She had meant for me to die as well. If not dead, then incapable of happiness. What she didn’t expect, was the fact that Dick is staying with me throughout all this. I backed away, dropping everything. 

My knees found the floor once again and I shouted. No way, no fucking way. My whole life was ruined because of that bitch. She nearly ruined Dick’s as well. No wonder she was so adamant that they don’t drop his charges, even though the people had tried petitioning in Court for months now. They couldn’t have a vigilante in Court, Dick would have to reveal his identity. And through revealing his identity, Bruce and Tim and everyone else would be revealed as well. I can’t let that happen. 

Barbara may wanted revenge for whatever reason, but she wouldn’t succeed. Even if I had to die to protect them, I would. She had already tried taking everything from me and she will not take everything from Gotham as well. She must be delusional if she thought only her stupid police department could keep the city safe. 

Suddenly my phone rang and I picked it up. It was a video call from Dick so I accepted it. His face appeared in the screen and my shoulders relaxed. Just by looking at him and hearing his voice brought my troubles away. 

“Heyyy…” he said, smiling. 

“Dick, where are you?” I asked. 

“I’m at the Tower. I decided to crash here, in my old room. It’s so funny how little things changed.”

“How’s everything there?”

“Good. It’s sorted. I’m leaving tomorrow, it takes a shorter time than I thought.”

“I miss you.” I sighed, looking at him. He’s shirtless and the pain in my chest increased when he flashed me his beautiful smile.   
“Me too. But hey, I’m back tomorrow. I should land around at night.” he said, then added, “How are you? Have you been taking your meds? Were there any accidents I should know about?”

“Jason came by earlier.” I replied and he stiffened but I continued, “I’ll tell you more about it once you come back.”, eyeing at the pile of evidence on our bed. 

“He didn’t see you naked, did he? Because if he did, I’ll-“

“No, don’t worry about it.” I laughed at his sudden burst of alpha male nonsense. 

We talked some more, then hung up and I went back to staring at the pile of trouble. I shook my head at it, cleaned it all up and put it all back in the envelope. I put it in the drawer in my bedside table and locked it with a key and went to bed. And for the first time in weeks, I didn’t have any nightmares.


	14. I'm Awake, I'm Alive

There is just something about mornings that never failed to make me feel crappy, no matter how much I should’ve looked forward for the day. Like for one, Dick’s coming back today. I should’ve felt excited in the morning, cooking up breakfast and doing the very girlfriend-y duties but I just don’t feel like getting up. It was the first night of sleep without any nightmares and I wanted to make up for lost time. I was being selfish, I hated it, so I forced myself to get up. 

But as I was sitting on the side of the bed, a hand touched my back, pulling on my robe. I turned to the direction of the touch immediately, only to find Dick, lying on his stomach, with one side of his head against the pillow facing me. It was then that I remembered, I fell asleep wearing only my bathrobe last night.

“Come back to bed.” he murmured. 

As if I was under a spell, I complied, moving towards him, my hand caressing his bare back as I put my arm around him while the other rested on one side of my head as I faced him. He was shirtless from the waist up and the warmth of his skin against mine felt so amazing. He cracked open an eye, smiled and leaned against my touch as my hand moved towards his hair, fingering through his dark locks, massaging his scalp and he moaned in response. 

He puts an arm around me, pulled me against him that our noses touch. His forehead meets mine, doing all this while his eyes were still closed but I knew his intentions were far from going back to sleep. 

Goosebumps rose on my skin every time he exhaled and I could only stare at him, admiring the beauty that is this man. I had to stop this thoughts, this building heat between my legs. There were things that needed to be discussed, especially about Jason’s visit. 

“Your breath stinks, Dick.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood and possibly to get him away from me. Of course, it didn’t work.

“You love my stinky breath.” he replied, smiling, opening his eyes as he met his lips with mine. 

His tongue danced with mine and we got hungrier for each other with every second passing by. He rolled me on top and I straddled him, my robe falling open as our lips were still connected. Skin against skin, as I felt him getting harder beneath me, sending shivers down my spine. 

His fingers grazed through my hair, pulling it back and at the same time keeping my lips on his. My hands slid to his chest and I pushed myself off of him. The spell broken and we crash landed on Earth.   
I pulled my robe tight against my body, wrapping both my arms around me as I tried walking this…this itch off. He rose on his elbows, watching me as I paced around the room, looking anywhere but at him. 

“Something wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with worry. 

I turned to him and nearly melted. He looked so amazing with his hair mussed up like that, sticking out in different places, especially when I was the one who did that. I cleared my throat and looked away, staring at the wall behind him instead. 

“We need to talk.”

“That sounds bad.”

“It’s about Jason’s visit. He…he told me things.”

His earlier playfulness, gone just like that. He was no longer Dick Grayson, but Nightwing. He got up, walking towards me and turned me around. I watched him, my hands on both sides of his waist, giving him strength at what I was about to say. He tried searching in my eyes for any clues but he failed. He cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes and said, “Tell me.”

“Jason told me that he found out what really happened to Cheyenne.”

He moved back and I suddenly feel empty without him. Cold. But I didn’t said or do anything. I continued instead. 

“It wasn’t pleasant. He gave me a file filled with all the evidence and he told me that the mastermind behind all this was…” I paused, moving towards him and forced him to look at me, to find strength in me, as I said, “Barbara.”

“NO WAY!” he shouted and I flinched but kept my hold on him. He wrenched my arms away in anger. 

Anger boiled in my veins but I didn’t let it show. Instead, I calmed myself down, telling myself to be understanding, that it is expected he would react this way, as I rushed towards the bedside table and unlocked the drawer of my bedside table, producing the envelope and handed it to him. He stopped pacing and looked at it, as if I was making him drink poison. 

“This is the evidence he gave to me.” I explained, even though there needn’t be any explaining. A brown manila envelope is enough an explanation. 

“You lie. He lied!” 

Again, I tried to still my nerves and be understanding. So instead of shouting back, I said, in my calmest voice, “I wished it wasn’t true, even though I hate her with all the fibre of my being. But it is.”

He kept quiet, still staring at the envelope, so I explained, “Look, if you have no interest in seeing what’s inside, then let me tell you instead. Jason Bard was in love with Barbara. Barbara used him to manipulate Cheyenne. Cheyenne fell for him, he abused her to the point beyond repair. The night you found her behind the club? She invited him there to tell him that she’s pregnant with his child. He got angry, told her he didn’t want the baby and that she had purposely gotten herself pregnant. Long story short, he took her out to the alley and beat her beyond repair.”

I placed the envelope on the dressing table while he was still staring at the floor, in shock. I looked at him, wanting to comfort him but I know he needed his space to calm himself. So I told him, “I’ll be outside, once you’re Dick again.”

I walked to the kitchen, feeling all kinds of numb. My heart, which was blooming with love several minutes ago, just felt hollow. And itching to do something, I decided to do the one thing I had planned to do when I woke up, preparing breakfast for both of us. 

He came out half an hour later, as I was sipping my coffee. He dumped the envelope on the countertop. The youth and carefree Dick was replaced by the vigilante. And for a moment, I regretted telling him, after the other big secret I was holding from him.

“Kenzie.” he started and I knew this is going to be bad. So I put the pan on the sink, pushing him a plate of his scrambled eggs as I took another sip of coffee before he decided to continue, “I don’t want you to do anything.”

“What?” I shrieked, putting my cup down with a loud thud. I must’ve heard it wrong. I wished I could’ve heard it wrong. But I didn’t. 

“I don’t want you to do anything.” he repeated, then explained, “Cheyenne deserved justice more than anyone else, but I don’t want you to-“

“Are you trying to protect her?” I cut him off, sounding incredulous. 

He was silent, he couldn’t answer. He had to make a choice. It was either Cheyenne or Barbara, because if he had handed the evidence over to the authorities, Barbara and Jason would go to jail and Cheyenne’s death would be avenged. If he didn’t, he would go to jail and Cheyenne would’ve died for nothing. 

“I can’t believe you’re even contemplating on protecting her!” I shouted, feeling more frustrated than ever. 

“Would you do the same thing, if it wasn’t Cheyenne but me?! Would you sacrifice your freedom for her if it was I, who died in that alley?! Because she did the same thing to me, Dick. She was the reason Joker and Harley found me!” I shouted, tears falling to my eyes as I said in a softer voice, “She was the reason why I can’t have children.”

There, the ugly truth.


	15. Heat of the Moment

I couldn’t bare to face him as soon as I said those words. So I hurried towards our room and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me as I slid to the ground and sat on the tiled floor. I couldn’t even cry anymore, no matter how hard I tried forcing the tears out. Numb. I was just numb. 

I just focused on the corner, where the bottom of the sink meets the wall. My mind reviewed through the whole thing like a slideshow from this morning, up to now. How had things gone so bad, so fast? Should I just pack my things up and leave? Or is he leaving? How did couples do this? I shouldn’t have moved in with him if I knew how many secrets we both had kept. I shouldn’t have let myself get into the relationship so fast. I should’ve been stronger. I should’ve fought against the feelings harder. 

A knock on the bathroom door jolted me away from my thoughts. I hugged my knees and stayed silent, hoping that he would go away. But he didn’t, for I could feel the weight against the door as he leaned his back on the other side. 

“I’m sorry.” he apologised, but I still kept quiet, hugging my knees tighter at the fear of what he was about to say. 

“I shouldn’t have accused you of lying and everything. I was…upset. And after how hard you had fought for my freedom, I shouldn’t have given up on it so easily. And I’m sorry, for being the cause of destroying your life.”

“You didn’t destroy my life, Dick. You gave me a purpose to live after all I’ve been through. I couldn’t thank you enough for that. And I’m sorry for being so selfish. I know how much Barbara mean to you. You both have history together. Hell, sometimes I even thought you were still in love with her.” I confessed, pausing to gathering all my courage to say the next words and continued, “I understand if you are.” 

I got up to my feet as tears started to threaten the back of my eyes but I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my emotions before opening the door to him already standing up, looking at me. It was as if he knew I was going to open the door. And his reaction after all the things I’ve said, was just pure puzzlement. It was as if he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I didn’t care. 

Not to my surprise, he didn’t try to stop me, no matter how much I begged him to in my mind. He didn’t try to stop me as I changed into my grey T-shirt and jeans. It was a Saturday, so I didn’t have to go to work, much to my dismay. I would’ve preferred drowning myself in paperwork than dealing with my emotions. 

I didn’t bother combing my hair, letting the curls fall against my back as I walked out of the living room to grab my phone and my car keys, with my wallet already in hand. He followed me to the living room, silently. 

It wasn’t until my hand touched the door that he decided to speak up, after all this time. 

“Kenzie, stop.” he said. 

“No, Dick, I can’t fucking deal with this anymore. If you still love her-“ 

“Yeah.” he said, and oh, if words could kill, but he quickly continued, “I love her, as how you would love and care for a sister. But the kind of love you were talking about, that was gone the instant she ended it.”

He moved closer and I stood there staring at him like a dumbass. I didn’t know what to do, or what to say. There was just so much things to process. Yet he continued, “I love you, Mackenzie Lee. And I will continue to do so for the rest of eternity, even in death. I don’t care that you can’t give me children, I don’t care that if didn’t end up having one because all I care about is being with you.”

“But you said…in the hospital…” I argued, thinking of the words how he said that he would want one someday. 

“I was just assuming that you would want one someday. And once we are ready, I thought, sure. But if it’s just going to both of us until we die, I don’t mind that as well.”

“What are you saying?” I asked, as my breath hitched at what he was implying. 

We were standing right in front of each other now. Me looking up at him given his height. He eyes bored into mine, as if he was sending all the love he felt to me just by his stare. His hands proceeded to cup both my cheeks, his thumb caressing my skin, sending goosebumps down my skin, as he said, “Marry me.”

It took me a few seconds for the words to register in my brain. Wasn’t I leaving just a few minutes ago? How did it all end up to this? Oh lord, I need to sit down after all this emotional rollercoaster and it was just the start of the day!

“Are you okay?” I asked, and he looked at me confused, so I explained, “We were fighting, I was about to leave and all of a sudden you are proposing to me. You were just about to sacrifice yourself so…so that bitch could walk all over you.”

“I understand your anger. But like I said, I was sorry. And besides, it’s not just me that you should be considering, it’s Bruce and Tim and Jason and everyone else.”

“I know, I know. I reacted too soon. It’s just…a lot to take in.” I said, as I walked out of his hold and paced towards the living room, where I stood, staring at the window once again. I didn’t dare let myself thought of what had happened the last time I stood at this very spot. I focused on the situation instead, trying to calmly assessing one by one. 

“I understand, you don’t have to give your answer so soon. I shouldn’t have sprung it up on you like that.” he said from behind me. 

He spun me around, his hand covering both of mine as he continued, “But I meant what I said. I love you, Mackenzie. More than I think you’ll ever know. And I’m sorry that I destroyed you this way. If I knew-“

“No.” I cut him off and he looked as if he was in pain immediately so I quickly reassured him, “No, I mean. Ugh. I mean it’s not your fault. From now on, we’ll stop blaming each other. What had happened, happened for a reason. And Richard John Grayson, my answer’s yes.”

I could tell that I had caught him off guard, because surprise flickered in his face, before he leaned forward and took me by my lips. I was beaming, finally feeling whole as our lips collide. Nothing could ruin this moment, I won’t let it. I would cherish it forever. 

He broke away our kiss and I nearly moaned at the loss but he promised, “I’m gonna do it right.” 

“Do what?”

“The whole proposal thing.”

“Oh, shut up, you know I don’t care about that corny romantic stuff.”

“I know you don’t but it’s tradition.” he smiled, before lifting me up over his shoulder, caveman style, as he made his way to our bedroom.


	16. Space Bound

Now that I looked back on it, it should’ve been one of the happiest days of our lives. We just discovered something that might save Dick and still save the true identities of the other half of the family, also the fact that we were about to spend our lives together forever. But why were we sitting in the car, in an awkward silence as we make our way to Bruce’s mansion?

The memory of last night flashed through my mind. How we were both eating dinner, momentarily forgetting about our argument as we celebrated the new step we were taking. Dick decided to bring me to the restaurant where we had our first date, somewhere fancy. I had remembered how intimidated I was and went home that night not intending to go out on a second one with him again, thinking how it would be too much to hang out with someone who frequents at a place like that. Then everything changed. 

So we were eating dinner, laughing at the funny memories we both shared. From when I was in law school, my early college years, his childhood, his many accidents and etc. And all of a sudden, Barbara arrived, alone. It was as if she was following us all along, as she walked towards our table as if she owned the restaurant and demanded that she talked to Dick. 

I was reluctant to let him go, with one hand clutching at a knife. She took one look at my hand, showing her smug smile, before Dick assured me that everything would be fine and walked off with her. Once he came back, all that cheerfulness had dissolved into thin air. We were both tense. I asked him what the meeting was all about, he only muttered a ‘later’, before we devoured our meal silently and drove back home. 

It wasn’t until we were safely back home, that he told me how Barbara had told him that she knew we have all the evidence. She gave him an ultimatum: hand her the evidence and turn himself in, or she would risk my safety. So I suggested that we just expose all the evidence in the media. She’d be sent to prison, she wouldn’t be able to harm me but it wasn’t that easy. She had connections, connections that would be more than capable turning me into something worse than what she had done to Cheyenne. Dick didn't want to risk it. He had asked for more time from Barbara to think about it.

So here we were, driving towards Bruce’s mansion with a shitload of baggage to dump it on him, the news of our engagement in the back of our minds. We had somehow wordlessly agreed that there would be no discussion of that news, yet. 

Dick switched on the radio, as he couldn’t bare the silence any longer. ‘Space Bound’ by Eminem blared through the speakers, as if he was trying to shut my thoughts off. I lowered the volume down, hoping for a reaction but there was none. His eyes were glued to the road, with his hands clutching on the steering wheel as if it was his soul. 

“Dick, penny for your thoughts?” I asked. 

“For the first time in my fucking life, I can’t think a way out of this. I can’t think of a fucking plan except to hand the evidence to her and turn myself in. I can’t let you go through what you’ve gone through.”

“You’re hurt.” I said, echoing his thoughts as he remained quiet. So I added, “You’re hurt that she would do this to you, after what you both had been through together.”

“She was my best friend, before all this. She was supposed to my best friend still. What happened?” he said, as if he was talking to himself. 

I couldn’t answer to that but he added, “I asked her yesterday, what was she trying to prove doing all this. What had I done to her. She just disappeared.”

“It wasn’t you, it was me.” I confessed, looking out through my window as the city passed behind us and we were crossing through a bridge. 

Dick was silent. We were already passing the bridge and was 5 minutes away from the Gotham Manor, so he parked in the side of the street, took off his seatbelt and turned to me. “What do you mean?”

“She wanted to get rid of me.” I explained, then added, “She thinks that if she can’t have you, no one can.”

“No, that won’t explain the reason for Cheyenne’s death.”

“Cheyenne was the reason you called yourself Nightwing, the reason you wore that blue suit. And don’t ask me how I know this, Tim told me things when you were injured.”

“Still, Barbara’s not like her brother, she’s not a psychopath.”

“That doesn’t mean she still wouldn’t be able to go this far. She was the daughter of the Commissioner, she’s now the Commissioner. What makes you think she wouldn’t go this far? She had all the power.”

“We’ll discuss this with Bruce.” he said, ending the argument as he drove us off to the Wayne Manor. 

Alfred opened the door, greeting us as we arrived. The sight of the Wayne Manor never cease to amaze me. Its architecture and everything. But instead of poring over the design like I used to, we walked in, feeling the weight on our shoulders gets heavier as Alfred led us to the study, where Jason, Tim, Damian and Bruce were sitting. 

Dick decided to stand by the fire, while I leaned against the wall. I need the strength. I didn’t dare to expect how they would react. Someone so close they considered as a family, to betray them like that. Dick looked at me, as if he was asking whether he should tell it or should I. I shook my head in response, handing him the envelope. 

“Dick, Kenzie, what’s going on? You both are worrying me.” Bruce said, crossing his hands over his chest. 

Jason, however, was grinning from ear to ear, as if he couldn’t wait to see everyone’s reaction at what we were going to say. Dick just shook his head at him, before telling everyone the contents of the envelope and the meeting with Barbara last night. He eventually told everyone how he had acquired these evidence, through Jason. 

“Jason, how?” Bruce demanded. 

“Months and months of gathering info, stalking, yada yadda, you know the drill.”

“And why didn’t you inform me of this?”

“It was too risky, I want to make sure everything’s happening at the right moment.”

Bruce sighed in exasperation, while Damian looked up and suggested, “We could just kill her.” For the first time, I found myself nodding at Damian’s suggestion until Dick caught me doing so and raised his eyebrows. 

“That’s not how we do things.” Bruce said so Damian shrugged nonchalantly as if we were wasting his time and went back to doing whatever he was doing. The silence was clear. There was only one thing left to do that would save everyone, except for me. 

“I’ll leave, fake my death and disappear.”


	17. Bridges

“What the fuck?!” Dick had practically shrieked, too soon for Alfred to say ‘Master Dick’, so Alfred just shook his head at him in disappointment. 

“Yeah, what the fuck, Kenzie?!” Tim repeated, then turned to Alfred to mutter a ‘sorry’ before turning back to me with an ‘are you serious’ expression plastered all over his face. 

“Look, it’s the only way. You can expose the evidence to the media, without putting all your identities in danger. She wouldn’t be able to hurt me if she believes that I’m dead.”

“What about the part that we are engaged?!” Dick argued and all heads turned to me in shock. 

“Congrats you guys! I knew you two would make it!” Jason exclaimed but Alfred shushed him and make him go back to his seat. I was about to answer until Bruce answered Dick’s question for me, shocking everyone.

“That could actually work. We would announce your engagement, have you both married and we could fake your death during or after the wedding. An accident, a car crash, or a plane crash.” Bruce suggested. 

“You can’t be serious!” Dick shouted, enraged that we were even suggesting this. 

“What do you suggest, Dick? You’d rather go to prison for something you didn’t do?”

“Dick you could join her, since you’ve retired as Nightwing and all.” Tim said. 

“No, not together. It’d be too suspicious if they died together all of a sudden. No, Kenzie, you’d have disappear first. Dick can join a few years or a few months later, once everything is settled.” Bruce said. 

I turned to Dick, asking him through my eyes if he would be okay with his. He seemed calmer than a few minutes ago and I was glad for that, or I wouldn’t be able to bear disappearing like this. He could’ve just stormed off and hand Barbara all those documents, like how he initially planned, but in doing so he would’ve betrayed everyone. Cheyenne deserved justice. 

“Bruce, I’m not okay with this. What if it didn’t work?”

“It will.” Bruce insisted. 

 

A week had passed and our plan is going accordingly. No one knew of this outside of the family. And the first phase of the plan is finally here. We were about to expose everything in the media, where Alfred’s going to anonymously publish everything in the GCPD website, with the copy of the sitting on the table of the Mayor. 

There was nothing Barbara could do now. And in addition to that, Dick and I are finally going to elope. It wasn’t both of our styles to do all the church wedding thing. For one, I didn’t like the reminder that I didn’t have parents, nor do I have grandparents that were still alive till’ this day. I practically have no family. Friends? I didn’t even have as much to cover the whole section of the church. The thought alone is depressing enough. 

Dick didn’t particularly care about how we were going to do it. All he cared about was the fact that it was official, and that nothing would change that. Even when I would disappear first, in a different country with a different identity. 

As for the proposal thing, he had done what he promised a few nights ago. It happened in a true Dick fashion, where he insisted we took a ride on his motorcycle. He somehow convinced me that we were just going to a club to meet Jason. I was curious, bombarding with questions as we make our way down to his motorcycle, since Dick and Jason was not always this chummy. It had seemed odd. 

Until, instead of going to the club like I had foolishly thought, he whisked me away to the Museum, out of all places. It was obviously close at this hour and I was more confused than ever until he produced a key, snuck us in and turned on the main switch. It was until he turned on the main switch, where the lights light up one of my favourite places on Earth, to reveal a picnic blanket, a bottle of wine and a wicker basket on top of it. 

“Dick, what’s going on?” I had asked. 

He smiled, proceeded to get down on one knee and the rest is history. 

So here we are, on our way to our wedding to the Court house, the last day we are going to spend together. I still couldn’t believe we had made it up this far. Dick is holding my hand, while the other is on his steering wheel. We are nearing the Court house. Tim and Addy’s already there, our two witnesses. 

Dick park the car on the side of the road, but none of us wants to move. Not only will this be the last time we might spend with each other until months or years before he could join me, but we both are about to do this, this committing thing. I turn to him, expecting to see a hint of nervousness but there was none there. None but sadness. Not at the wedding, but at the fact that we are going to be separated soon after. We hadn’t been separated from each other this week, trying to do things that we always did together as if it was our last. In a way, it is. 

“We’re gonna be okay, Dick.” I reassured him, squeezing his hand. 

“I don’t think I could stand being away from you for so long.”

“I don’t think I could, either, but we have to do this.” I replied, touching his cheek with one hand, moving it closer until our lips touch and we kissed, both promising each other that it’s not the end. 

By the time we are walking in the room, Addy embraces me in a tight hug and whispers in my ear, telling me how cute she thinks Tim looks. I shake my head and laugh but she shushed me before Tim and Dick would ask what I was laughing about. 

Tim calls out for her to stand on the side, right next to him and she did. Dick and I stand across each other, one side to the podium as our hands clasped together. He looks at me, smiling, showcasing his dimples as the judge asked if Dick agreed to be my husband. He agreed and lets go of my hand only to sign the document. Then the judge asked me the same thing. I agreed and signed the document. And just like that, we were declared husband and wife by the Court of Gotham City of the State of New Jersey. 

Dick gathers me in his arms and kisses me like there’s no tomorrow. I practically melt into a pile of goo as his tongue dances with mine and my arms circles around his neck. His arms are around my waist, gathering me closer even though our bodies are slightly grinding on each other. But all of a sudden, all of it is gone, the spell broken and we crash-landed into reality. The judge had cleared his throat and hands us the document, which we hand to Tim for safe-keeping. 

I hug Addy, with tears in my eyes, knowing what would have to happen next. Knowing that I might never see her again, nor Tim. Tim knows and gathers me in his arms once I let go of Addy. “Do what you’ve always done, Kenzie, survive.” he whispered and I wordlessly nods to his words. Addy looks at me, with tears in her eyes because of happiness, not because of what we were planning to do. 

Dick and I said our goodbyes as we walk, hand-in-hand, into our car. He turns on the radio once we get in, with ‘New York’ by Snow Patrol playing, filling the hollowness of what we are about to do. Dick wouldn’t let go of my hand, when we are inside the car. He holds my hand like it’s his lifeline. 

“I love you, Richard John Grayson.”

“I love you too, Mackenzie Lee.”

He finally lets go of my hand we drive to the same bridge, the bridge that I was nearly attacked in so many months ago. It feels like years, to be honest. 

The song changes to ‘A Dustland Fairytale’ by The Killers as we speed through half of the bridge, until a huge truck ‘accidentally’ go to the wrong lane and Dick ‘accidentally’ steered his car too far to the left until we fall through the bridge and into the water. It happens so fast, I didn’t even register what had happened.

Once we are fully underwater, still on the way to the bottom of the river, Jason appeared out of nowhere in a scuba-diving suit, carrying an extra oxygen tank. He lets Dick breathe a few breaths, before kicking the door open as I am about to lose my vision. Dick looks at me, wasting his breath by placing a kiss on my head before Jason cuts through my seatbelt and pull me out, handing me the tank and helping me out of the car. 

I couldn’t move, watching Dick slowly lose his consciousness. I am about to call everything off as I swim towards him but then I heard help coming. Jason, looking at me frantically, pulls me forcefully to the other direction and I follow him, only daring to look back once we are a distance away. I stay on the side, with so much distance between us as the people pull the unconscious Dick out of the car and up to the boat, where he would be taken to the hospital and a few days later, they would find my battered body, a corpse of a woman who looks a lot like me, afloat on the side of the river, wearing the same dress I’m wearing. 

“He’s going to be fine, you know.” Jason said as we emerge from the water and my knees gave away. I rip the oxygen from my face and throw it to the side, despite the weight. We are somewhere in Blüdhaven, where Jason had rented a cheap car that would take me to the airport, along with everything I need in the duffel bag. My new passport, my new ID, clothes, money, etc. 

“You may not realise it, but you’re a good brother, Jason.” I said, staring at the ground, trying to will the vision of Dick closing his eyes away. 

“Thanks, Kenzie. Now let’s get you to your safe haven. You can cry then.”

Wordlessly, I follow him climb through the gates and walk towards the parking lot, where an old Toyota is waiting for me. He didn’t bother to say goodbye. Instead, he just disappeared somewhere, leaving me to climb inside the car and deal with my own emotional issues. I don’t let myself cry or breakdown. I will myself to numb instead. I can’t cry, not now. 

As I open the compartment box to look for my ID, I don’t only find the envelope containing my new identity. Next to it, I find a box of hair dye. Brick red. Then I shuffle through the contents of the compartment some more, to find a black jewellery box. I open it to find a gold wedding band and my engagement ring in it. I had taken off the replica of my engagement ring earlier, handing it to Jason so he could put it on the dead corpse. 

I take off the wedding band and put it on my finger, before closing the box and putting it back in the compartment. I can’t attract more attention by wearing the same engagement ring as a person who is supposed to be disappeared. 

Without any further ado, I start the engine, with tears threatening to fall at the back of my eyes. This jewellery box must’ve been Dick’s idea. That bastard. He’s not making this easier, isn’t he?


	18. Home

Chapter 18:

One year later, London.

The wind blows through my hair to one side, covering half of my face and I struggle to slip it behind my ear. I curse under my breath, taking off the elastic band in my pocket and tie my hair into a ponytail before getting back to my book. The one misconception about the terrible English weather is not the constant rain, it’s the strong wind. Now I know where they get the inspiration from Mary Poppins, especially at the amount of umbrellas the wind manage in a short amount of time. 

It’s autumn and nothing is more relaxing, than sitting under a large oak tree with a good book surrounded by the orange and yellow leaves. Occasionally a leaf would fall on my book or on my head, but I don’t mind. It’s another reminder that autumn is here, my favourite season. 

Life had been…lonely. Bruce and Alfred initially planned for me to run away to California or Canada, but I didn’t want to take the chance. It’s still in the same continent and the Oracle wouldn’t be the Oracle if she’s not that smart to figure out my whereabouts. So I suggested London instead, since I’ve always wanted to go there, and it’s across the sea.

I’ve lived here for a year, as Mikayla Dinardo, working in an Edwardian bookstore in London called Daunt Books, just in Marylebone. It was weird, at first, given that I’ve always been used to the busy life of a criminal lawyer but now that I’m just a simple bookstore employee, with so much time in the world, surrounded by books, it feels like a vacation. There were, of course, days that I longed for my old life but until everything is settled, I’m still not sure if I could still resume my old identity. 

I marked my page and closed my book with a loud thud and pull out my phone. The new phone that I bought as Mikayla. I had purpose left my old phone back home, in our apartment back in Gotham, with all the pictures and memories intact. As soon as the thought of Gotham enters my mind, so are the memories of him. I shake my head, trying to clear the feelings that is about to come, because I can’t bear to cry in public. Not again.

I change the song to ‘Drown In You’ by Daughtry, leaning my back against the oak tree, hugging my knees as I stare at the people passing by. A family, having a picnic with their little kids playing frisbee with their dog. Two teenage girls taking turns, taking pictures under the tree amidst the fallen leaves. A group of tourists, chattering in their language. Everyone, oblivious to the evil things happening in the world. Was it in our human nature to be so selfish?

I close my eyes, enjoying the song, until I feel a tap on my shoulder. My eyes spring open and I turn to the direction of the touch almost immediately, taking off one of my earphones as I stare in disbelief. 

“What are you listening to?” Dick asked, his eyes glinting with amusement. 

I just stare at him, gaping. I must be hallucinating, no way is that the real him. I blink a few times, slap myself, shake my head to clear the image and turn back to the direction I was facing. There is no fucking way Dick’s here. It must be the meds. Yes, my PTSD meds. Side-effects. Possible. 

Then there’s that tap on the shoulder again. I ignore it, put my earphones back on and begin reading again. Until my music is gone, my earphones being wrenched away from my ears and two hands grab my face. There he is again, his face inches from mine, grinning. 

“You’re not real.” I said, putting a hand on his cheek, wishing and hoping that he is. 

“I’m touching you, aren’t I?” he replied, as if to say ‘duh!’. 

“It’s not my meds?”

“You’re still taking that thing?”

“After I…after we…the visions, the anxiety, it all started again, I had to.”   
“I’m here now, Mackenzie.” he said, placing a kiss on my head. It’s then that I know, I believe that he is real. That he’s not an illusion my sad lonely mind had conjured up with, that he’s not fictional. He’s real, he’s here. 

“Dick.” I breathed out. 

He moves back a little, laughing as he say, “I’m not sure if you mean the proverbial way, or…”

“Shut up.” I cut him off and kiss him. 

When we finally release each other, I ask him, “How are you here? What happened? Did-“

“Everything’s okay. Barbara…she killed herself.”

“What?”

“She jumped down from the roof of the GCPD. We didn’t get there in time.”

“What about her lover?”

“Shot himself in the mouth.” Oh fuck. 

I gather him in my arms, tightening my grip as if I’m trying to remind myself that he’s real. He is real. He’s here, he’s finally here. We could finally live off our days together. We could go home. But Barbara, she meant so much to him. I let him go and ask him, “How are you handling all this? Are you okay?”, looking all over his face to see any inch of sadness or despair. 

“I will be. I will be, once you come home.” he answered, smiling, with a hint of grief. Grief for his ex-lover, but most of all, one of his dearest friends. 

“How’s everyone?”

“They’re going to be fine, I guess. Bruce had it the worst, ever since the funeral.”

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded, before picking my copy of The Adventures of Robin Hood. He looks at it questioningly and holds it up, saying, “Really?”

“What? It reminds me of you.” I shrugged, taking it from his hands as he extends his hand to help me up.

And as we stand under the oak tree, me looking up at him, I ask the one question I had been dreading to ask these past year. “Will we be able to go back to our old lives? Before all this.”

“No.” he replied, and an instant crushing feeling take over but he quickly retort, “Because you’re Mackenzie Grayson now.”

“I’m not changing my name.” I declared as he laughs, taking my hand and we make our way out of Hyde Park, and back home.


End file.
